Cosmetic surgery plan is met with leaving plan

ASK AMY

What should I do if my significant other isn’t supportive of surgical/cosmetic changes that I want to make to my body?

I’ve flat-out asked him how he would feel if I got lip injections ( just to test the waters). I want other, more extreme procedures as well.

He told me that if I had something like that done, he would leave me.

I’ve been in a relationship with him for four years, so it kind of hurts my feelings that he would drop all that just because I wanted to make a change to my body so that I won’t feel as insecure in it.

He says it would make him feel that I’m not who he thought I was and that it’s vain to do these things. Do you think his feelings are justified?

— CURIOUS ABOUT COLLAGEN

I’m not sure why you are asking me about your boyfriend’s feelings. He has given you his honest opinion, and he (and I) shouldn’t have to justify his feelings.

The downside of your choice to “test the waters” in this way is that you don’t seem to have prepared yourself for the answer.

It is your body. You shouldn’t feel compelled to discuss your choice with anyone in advance.

I’m not a fan of cosmetic procedures (certainly “extreme” ones), but if someone I loved wanted to do this, and if they could afford it and it didn’t harm their health, I’d tell them to have at it.

I suggest that you do what you want to do. Don’t ask your boyfriend to weigh in beforehand, and don’t ask for his opinion or approval afterward.