An epidemic of disrespect
I was fortunate enough to attend the two-day Global Leadership Summit at South Ridge last week and opening speaker Bill Hybels stated that we have an epidemic of disrespect in our society today. Then of course the events in the U.S. last weekend proved him correct.
It is time we stand up to counter this behavior, but we have to be cautious about not becoming like them while doing so. Sitting silently in the corner will only allow this behavior to continue and even grow. I was talking to a friend the other day who associates with someone who is publicly known to be disrespectful and intolerant of anything that is not defined by this person’s narrow and twisted view of society and politics.
Knowing that this friend has a huge social conscience and has advocated for fairness, I wondered why my friend would hang around the other person. The answer I received took me aback, as this person said everyone is entitled to their opinion and sometimes opposing views are important (paraphrased). I totally agree with that statement but that is not what we are talking about.
We are talking about a person who spouts divisiveness and hate. A person who has made racist, sexist, religious and homophobic comments. A person who attacks others on a personal level. A person who, when confronted, will deflect and not take responsibility for actions or words.
So, when I confronted my friend and said that not denouncing this person’s behavior and being silent in fact condoned the behavior, my friend became upset with me, saying that I was accusing him/her of being racist, sexist and homophobic. Well, I cannot deny that is what I felt.
Here’s the point. One cannot be almost pregnant. When you associate yourself with people who harm others then, whether you like it or not, you are publicly condoning their behavior. We have to begin to call our friends out whenever we are witness to incivility.
When a male friend calls his wife a bitch, don’t laugh, call him out. And do not dismiss his behavior by laughing and saying “that’s just him.” When someone says, “that’s so gay,” call them out. When someone says that all Muslims are terrorists, call them out. When someone makes a racist joke about a black person or brown person, call them out.
I for one will be taking a stand in order to ensure that this epidemic of disrespect is turned into an epidemic of respect. I pledge to respectfully call anyone out who disrespects others in their words or actions. I will ask them to stop and I will share why I believe they crossed that respect line. If they understand how their actions have affected others then we can move on as friends. If that person does not understand how their behavior is affecting others, then I will tell them that I cannot associate with them until that behavior stops. I will also stop hanging around others who simply turn a blind eye to such things, for if we are not part of the solution we are part of the problem.
Some of you are probably saying that I am being very narrow myself, and I am sorry you see it that way, but we need to counter this epidemic of disrespect by making it socially unacceptable to conduct one’s self in such a way.
Let me conclude with this famous poem by Pastor Martin Niemolloer:
“In Germany they first came for the communists and I didn’t speak up because I was not a communist. Then they came for the Jews and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. They came for the Catholics and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me and by that time there was no one left to speak up.”
It’s time to speak up before it’s too late.