Daughter struggles with self-esteem at college

Dear Amy: My beautiful, talented, intelligent and sensitive daughter just started college after taking a gap year. She is so happy in school, however, she has never had an official boyfriend and feels she never will have that kind of relationship because, somehow, she believes she is flawed. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and no matter what I tell her, there is no satisfying her, and she is so sad. She has been in therapy but has discontinued it since starting college. Do you have suggestions on what I can do/say to help her know that things will shift for her? — CONCERNED MOM

Dear Concerned: Many beautiful, talented, intelligent and sensitive people starting college have not had serious relationships yet — one of my daughters jokingly called herself “the spinster” because she had never had a real boyfriend, something that changed before her first year was over.

Your daughter wants those connections that we all crave. Unfortunately, you can’t automatically fix this. You have told her over and over that she is incredible; she just has to start believing it. As she finds her footing in school and meets other young women who are as wonderful as she is, she may begin to see herself differently.

However, college life presents outsized challenges and triggers for people with self-esteem issues. She really should continue her therapy. Colleges have counselors available to students. She should visit the student health center for a referral.

Dear Amy: We vaccinate our children. There was a mistake at the doctor’s office and one of my sons missed a vaccine. Due to what I guess was just very bad luck, he was exposed to one of the illnesses the vaccine should have prevented.

We spent the next two days in the hospital, basically under quarantine. We do NOT know when or where he was exposed, only that he was, and it was a very serious threat to his health.

Please encourage vaccinations and careful monitoring of the health of those too young to be protected. — AWARE PARENT

Dear Aware: I am teamvaccination. We are so fortunate to have access to vaccines; I can’t believe this has become at all controversial.