Are athletic sunglasses trolling us?
Jennifer Berry test-drives the season’s questionable wraparound shades
Singers Rihanna and Dua Lipa wear them. Fashion houses like Vetements and Stella McCartney have sent them down runways. But it was the unlikeliest of style icons, Princess Anne, who made me stop and take notice.
There was the 68-year-old daughter of Queen Elizabeth on the home page of Vogue.com in a smart cream coat, sensible brown suede pumps and mahogany reflective Adidas wraparounds. The website proclaimed that the royal had “beat every Instagirl” to the next big eyewear trend after micro sunnies. Was Princess Anne wearing the glasses because she thought they were a chic choice for a jaunt to the Chelsea Flower Market? Or were they simply the only lenses she had on hand? (And did Anne know she was ahead of the Instagirls?!) Either way, I was intrigued.
You see, we have a name for this style of sporty wraparound sunglasses in my family. My brother-in-law calls them “Reel Fishing” glasses, named for an imagined Canadian television series dedicated to a love of fishing and the men who wear mirrored wraparound shades on the water, and deployed when teasing my father-inlaw about his own shiny sun-deflecting blue pair. These men are not wearing the athletic sunglasses for fashion, though, they’re purely for function. I can’t say the same for the fashionistas currently sporting performance sunnies so aerodynamic, they could be going straight to ride the Tour de France (they are not).
I decided that if Princess Anne could scoop the “Instagirls” of the world on the trend now embraced by Gigi Hadid and her ilk, I’d have to give it a try. My own pair of sun-deflectors showed up at the office in a black box emblazoned with the brand name “Rock Bros,” which felt apropos for the extreme sports look I was about to test drive. Eat your heart out, Princess Anne.
Outfit 1: A clean swap with my usual black cat eye frames for my morning commute
I realized quite quickly that part of what makes a hyper-trendy, and quasi-ridiculous, item like performance sunglasses seem so ... normal on models is that the world is their runway. Every outing is a fully styled photo op, snapped as they move between buildings and waiting town cars. They also seem to live in climates where the weather never changes so coats in fall are optional and crop tops are a year-round staple. I can’t say the same for myself who gets dressed most mornings in a mad dash and hustles to the office sweating — sorry, glowing — on public transit, and for whom the only photo ops are poorly lit bathroom selfies. Rainbow reflective shades with my merlot trench and camel scarf felt like an unholy accident and an even less cool one than Princess Anne’s prim-meets-performance moment. This was not off to a strong start.
Outfit 2: Trying a more “Milan Fashion Week” look with a jaunty gingham coat
I decided I’d have to up my outerwear game if I was going to feel even the least bit deliberate, but still like me, in the sporty sunnies so I tried to channel the chicest of magpies — a fashion editor at Milan Fashion Week where a joyful mash-up of colour, pattern and playfulness reigns supreme. I selected a plaid suit with a red thread running through it from my closet and paired it with white leather booties, a gingham car coat and gumball-like pearl earrings. For a sunny stroll to grab lunch near the office, I felt almost cute until I caught sight of my reflection in the Loblaws window and nearly stumbled into oncoming traffic. Who was the person staring back at me looking like she was going from lunch straight to a slalom?
I don’t wear crop tops and my wardrobe is void of Vetements but I knew that my elevated workwear, whether Milan-inspired or not, just wasn’t going to cut it.
Outfit 3: A Saturday athleisure moment with a grey hoodie and neon pink toque
When shooting the sporty shades at the office, we went for an unabashedly sporty look with Adidas leggings, a cropped mustard puffer jacket and neon runners, and I felt like if any esthetic was going to make me a convert, it was this. I took the sunglasses for a final spin, knocking Saturday errands off my to-do list in a hooded sweatshirt, army green bomber jacket and pink neon beanie but alas, it didn’t take. While this look felt the most natural, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was playing dressup. I never felt fully at ease, least of all confident.
At the end of the day, reflective wraparound shades made me feel more like Patrick Swayze surfing between bank robberies in “Point Break” than Bella Hadid off-duty between shows at Paris Fashion Week, but I’m OK with that. Some trends surprise and delight, while some end up working exactly as well as you expected they might, which in this case is not well at all.
At least I’ve got next year’s Halloween getup sorted.