Naming, shaming worst of 2016
An editor at Slate recently tweeted out a plea to critics: You don’t have to do a “worst of the year” list. You just don’t. To which I replied: They didn’t have to make
Norm of the North either. And so here are 10 movies I could have done without this year.
Norm of the North: Computer animation can do wonderful things. But it all starts with a script. Norm shows no evidence of having one.
Dirty Grandpa: You’re not funny. You’re merely offensive. You should know better. And yes, Mr. De Niro, I am talking to you. Because I don’t see anyone else — oh wait there’s Zac Efron. This is for him too.
What an Idiot: Beware titles that may be applied to filmmakers. A man pretends to be gay because his new female boss likes gay men. Then he falls for her. This might have made a worst-10 list in 1976. In 2016 it’s a given.
Precious Cargo: If you’ve seen one heist movie, you’ve seen them all. If you’ve seen this one, you’ve seen the worst they have to offer. Inexplicably co-stars Bruce Willis. The Wild Life: This talking animals tale was originally titled Robinson Crusoe until producers worried the ghost of Daniel
Defoe would rise up and sue. Free of bathroom humour, and also of humour. The Neon Demon: Nicolas Winding Refn gives us Elle Fanning as a young model whom the fashion world will chew up and spit out. But he doesn’t make that a metaphor; he just films it. Divergent: Allegiant: Three down, one to go. Except this one did so poorly, the final chapter is now headed straight to TV, with few of the cast reprising their roles. Shailene Woodley et al have better things to do.
Now You See Me 2: Never saw the point of the first heavily CG’d tale of trickster-magician-robbers. Even with Daniel Radcliffe, I still don’t.
Edge of Winter: This Sudburyshot thriller does such a slow burn it risks going out completely. Which is a shame because, you know, it’s cold up there. London Has Fallen: Somehow at once mindless and single-minded, the violent, xenophobic sequel to Olympus Has Fallen has fallen and can’t get up. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 /
Bridget Jones’s Baby: Tying for 10th place and coming 14 and 12 years after their previous movies, proves that there are limits to the phrase “good things come to those who wait.”