Teen moving into household could place family at risk

Dear Amy: A couple we know, who have a 14-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son, just welcomed an 18-year-old boy (whom they have known for years), into their home to live.

He has been thrown out of his parents’ home, but I don’t know why.

The 18-year-old has a job and helps them with the bills. He doesn’t have a car.

I see a potential TRAIN WRECK in the offing.

To allow two unrelated teenagers to live in the same house seems to deliver an open invitation to a real problem, should their hormones become inflamed.

Please offer your advice and feedback, in hopes that they read your column. — WORRIED

Dear Worried: Here’s my feedback: To people who offer shelter to others who need it — thank you. You are heroes.

To neighbors, friends and extended family members who take in teenagers going through a rough patch: Thank you. You are demonstrating true family values.

Your assumption that unrelated teenagers shouldn’t cohabit because of “inflamed hormones” is faulty. Using your logic, my family shouldn’t have welcomed exchange students into our household during my childhood. Teens shouldn’t attend co-ed sleepaway camp, or live alongside other teenagers and young adults for months as counselors. And not to put too fine a point on it, but what about the “inflamed hormones” of both parents with this young man in the house?

Using your logic, surely the family is surrounded by new risks and temptations, and the 18-year-old is also at risk.

There is no question that bringing an unrelated person into the household changes the dynamic of the household and places both children at an elevated risk for sexual contact or abuse. But your automatic assumptions about the risk might be outsized; and, importantly, this is none of your business.