Friends’ focus this summer is on drugs, drinking
Dear Tessa, All of my friends have been drinking and using drugs every weekend this summer. We have had some fun but our outings are planned around drugs and partying. I’m afraid if I don’t get out now something bad could happen, but I also don’t want to lose my friends ... What can I do?
Thanks so much, FriendsVSFoes
Hey there, FriendsVSFoes, Thanks for reaching out to me during your dilemma. Questioning activities with friends is one of the most challenging things young people face, so I hope my advice will be helpful to you.
Summer is a time where things can easily slip out of hand in terms of responsibility; daylight hours are long and spirits are high and people feel invincible, especially youth. It’s important to make great memories and have fun, but remembering what kind of person you are during that fun is key.
Before approaching your friends with your concerns, I think you should first decide what feels right and wrong as a recreational activity. Moral rules are a very individual thing, although common sense thinking about your future will go a long way here as well. Don’t do anything you don’t feel good about, or anything you wouldn’t want a hypothetical child of yours doing.
If you’re questioning doing something that is going to impact your life for longer than the night you’re doing it, don’t do it.
As I’ve mentioned in past columns, peer pressure is often masked because of the company you’re in. Even though you may feel uncomfortable, you’re still unlikely to consider what you’re feeling peer pressure, because these people are your friends. Before you talk with them, think about the future of your relationship with those people. Is it worth even confronting them if you’re going to be returned with peer pressure ridicule for not “being cool” enough to keep partying and doing substances with them?
If this is the case, I think you have your answer already that these aren’t reliable friends and you should cut the ties. However, if you think they may be more understanding and invested in your wellbeing (as would be hoped for), let them know what’s going on in your head. Tell them you’re not only worried about yourself, but them as well if they keep on at the rate they are with bad habits. Even though it’s summer, it’s no excuse; things done regularly in youth can lead to a daily practice into and throughout adulthood.
Above all, remember who you are. Think about what kinds of things would keep you up late at night overthinking, wondering if you’d trusted your gut how things could have gone differently. Nobody wants that feeling, and you now have the opportunity to avoid it. Sending love, Tessa Smith
Are you a young person or teen looking for advice? Email Omemee writer Tessa Smith at tessasmith329@gmail.com. Your name and personal information will be kept confidential.