Parents of preemie appreciate support
As the mother of a premature baby, Kelly O’Dwyer-Manuel knows how terrifying it can be to have a preemie.
She also says she wasn’ t prepared for all that went along with it.
With Friday marking World Prematurity Day, O’ Dwyer-Manuel is sharing her experience to support other families with preemies and let them know they’re not alone.
O’Dwyer-Manuel’s son Charlie was born at 26-weeks gestation, weighing less than two pounds. He’s a healthy, 22-month-old now.
At 24 weeks ge station, O’ DwyerManuel’ s complications sent her to Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre in Toronto. Doctors at Peterborough Regional Health Centre (PRHC) told her there was a strong possibility she’d have an early delivery, but the city’s hospital wasn’t equipped for it.
“I had no idea that if my baby was going to be born at 24-weeks gestation that it couldn’t be born in Peterborough,” said O’DwyerManuel, 39.
After Charlie was born, he spent about 85 days in Sunny brook’ s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). That came as a surprise, too. O’Dwyer-Manuel said she “naively” thought Charlie could return to PRHC for care once he’d reached what would have been 32 weeks gestation. “That wasn’t the case,” she said. Charlie had to stay at Sunny brook until he came off breathing support. He then spent two weeks in the NICU at PRHC.
During their time in Toronto, O’ Dwyer-Manuel and her husband were on their own to find accommodations, transportation and meals. Fortunately, the couple lucked out and got one of Sunnybrook’s three charity apartments.
“For a lot of parents who come from outside the city, they either have to live inside the baby’s hospital room, which comes with a whole other load of stress ... or they have to commute.”
The Peterborough family was also fortunate enough to end up in at a Toronto hospital, she said. They could have been sent to Ottawa, Hamilton or Kingston for care.
“It’s wherever there’s a bed.” Once O’Dwyer-Manuel returned home, the first few months were rough. Yet she didn’t know that parents of preemies have a higher chance of depression and anxiety.
“For the first three months that my child was home with me, I was petrified that he was going to die – that he would stop breathing.”
She also learned that micro babies (born before 28 weeks gestation) have a higher instance of autism and cerebral palsy, for example.
O’Dwyer-Manuel said she needed support, but didn’t know where to find it.
Earlier on, she’d found comfort at Sunnybrook when she ran into a Lake field mother whose son had been born at 24-weeks gestation. He was four years old and healthy.
“It really gave me a lot of hope and it was nice to be able to reach out to her and say, ‘how do you get through this’ and hear her words of encouragement.”
Six months ago, O’ Dwyer-Manuel began volunteering with Canadian Premature Babies Foundation (CPBF) to help other families.
To expectant parents, O’Dwyer-Manuel offers a few pieces of advice.
She said pregnant women should trust their gut, even if it means numerous trips to the emergency room or to labour and delivery.
“Don’ t think that you’ re going to be a bother ... it’s really important, even if the only thing you come away with is peace of mind.” She also recommends staying off the Internet when it comes to concerns about a pregnancy.
“Broad searches are going to come back with really scary things.”
If there’ s a certainty a baby will be premature, visit C PB F’ s website for resources. There are also Facebook groups for parents of preemies, offering loads of support.
“It’s very difficult to deal with this all by yourself. So the more you can have a good support system ... the better parent you’ll be to this little baby.”
I had no idea that if my baby was going to be born at 24-weeks gestation that it couldn’t be born in Peterborough,” Kelly O’Dwyer-Manuel