Big stars, but still little League
Where’s the Justice? DC superheroes trip over each other
I still don’t know how Marvel puts together such great ensemble superhero movies, and I suspect DC doesn’t either.
Justice League, which brings together Batman and (can I say this?) Superman, alongside box office queen Wonder Woman and big-screen newcomers Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg, occasionally finds its footing but often stumbles just at the moment it should soar.
The players give it their all — the motor-mouthed one! The laidback one! The, um, black one! — but these heroes feel a little lost on their own, only to keep stepping on each others toes when they get together.
Directed by Zack Snyder, the plot is bare-bones simple. An evil entity called Steppenwolf — played by Ciarán Hinds, and confused at your peril with the Chicago theatre company and/or the iconic Canadian rockers who gave us Born To Be Wild — is ravaging Earth in search of three Mother Boxes.
These doohickies combine the look of the All Spark( Transformers) with the power of Infinity Stones (Marvel) and remind us that the various cinematic universes seem to be running out of original ideas for props and costumes. (Exhibit B: Steppenwolf’s horned hat, which recalls such recent baddies’ noggins as Loki, Cate Blanchett’s Hela in Thor: Ragnarok and Angelina Jolie in Maleficent. The problem isn’t that they don’t make villains like they used to: It’s that they don’t do anything else.)
Even the casting choices are starting to repeat themselves. When J.K. Simmons popped up as Batman’s buddy Commissioner Gordon, I thought it was a cameo from newspaper editor J. Jonah Jameson. I know, that was about 18 Spider-Mans ago, but some roles are iconic!
The Mother Boxes were hidden on Earth ages back, as revealed in a flashback that looks like an outtake from The Lord of the Rings. Now Steppenwolf is gathering them with the help of a swarm of insect henchmen. They’re called parademons, which sounds like a decent poker hand, and they can smell fear, which puts them in the same realm as dogs. And movie critics.
Batman (Ben Affleck), sensing a showdown, gets in touch with Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) and tracks down Aquaman (Jason Momoa), whose weapon is a trident so powerful it has two extra dents.
Also on the team is theatre actor Ray Fisher as Cyborg, and Ezra Miller (The Perks of Being a Wallflower) as The Flash. Each has an alter ego, a troubled dad and a reason for his powers, but as the movie runs just two hours, there isn’t time for specifics. Miller makes the strongest impression, mostly because he gets the funniest lines. And there aren’t many quips — the screenplay (by Chris Terrio and Joss Whedon, who also directed some reshoots) veers between dark nostalgia for “a time when the world still worked,” and hackneyed orders like “light the ancient warning fire!”
When the heroic quintet decides it needs a sexy sixth, it’s the cue to dig up Superman (Henry Cavill), which only The Flash seems to find creepy. I thought the floaty grave dirt at the end of Batman v. Superman heralded his return, but it turns out he needs some help. As does the film’s barely simmering climax, which takes place in a featureless corner of Russia and at least spares Gotham and Metropolis from any more structural damage.
Justice League is merely the latest piece in the puzzling puzzle that is the DC Extended Universe. Wait for the second of two post-credit scenes for clues as to what will follow. Though I can’t help but wonder: As the two franchises continue to pile more and more characters into their sandboxes, will the day come when a mighty crossover pits the League of Justice against the Avengers? I know where I’d put my money.