OHL 21: Advice for OHL commissioner David Branch
Change.
Rockers David Bowie, Blind Melon and Neil Young have all sung about it.
And while I’ll spare readers my vocals, I won’t shy away from listing the changes I’d like to see in junior hockey.
It’s my annual attempt at being Ontario Hockey League commissioner David Branch, sans moustache, for a day.
Here we go.
1. I’ve mentioned this before but it’s my biggest gripe with the OHL so it’s worth repeating. It’s time to seed the teams one through 20 after the regular season so that the top 16 clubs — regardless of conference — qualify for the post-season.
2. Look, I like that the OHL takes on initiatives but we’ve hit the expiry date on the Canada-Russia series. The schedule is busy enough and more so when you toss in the world juniors, Under-17 World Hockey Challenge, Top Prospects Game and school, yes, remember school?
3. While we’re in ditch mode, let’s do away with the OHL’s Under-18 Priority Selection draft. We don’t need to raise the profile of major midget players. Overlooked athletes always found their way into the league before and they’ll continue to find opportunities whether there is a draft or not.
4. The OHL is not in expansion mode. But, if it was, I’d love to see another team in Northern Ontario. Thunder Bay would be a great fit. Too far you say? Tell that to teams in the Western Hockey League and Quebec Major Junior Hockey League.
5. It’s time for officials to pick up broken sticks during play. If a referee can skate and blow a whistle at the same time, he can call the game and bend over to scoop up stray lumber. All too often a broken twig interferes with a pass, clearing attempt or scoring chance.
6. I miss hockey hair. So many things are making a comeback but not the flow. We get more than a few greasy moustaches in Movember and once in a while a beauty comes along with a dangerous do, but we haven’t seen mass mullets in ages. Bring back the short-long.
7. Could we please move the world junior hockey championship to an actual junior hockey town? It doesn’t have to be every year, maybe every second time it comes to Canada. I know, rewarding the fans that actually support the age group playing year round sounds crazy, but indulge me. The games would be sold out.
8. And, while we’re at it, regardless of locale, how about some ticket price correction? If I pay around $25 to see a junior game, I’d like to pay that to watch it on an international level in a decent seat. The premium seat in a package deal for 19 games at next year’s tourney in Vancouver-Victoria works out to $118 per tilt.
9. The OHL keeps officiating statistics but they seem to be a closely guarded secret. Why not publicize the results? It sure would be interesting to see which officials like to blow the whistle the most and to see if some refs call more penalties against certain clubs than others.
10. While we’re talking about freedom of information, I’d love to see the OHL post a list of current draft picks for each club on its website. You know the list exists somewhere, it has to. Teams hold on to picks like hot potatoes these days and some transparency would help fans be more informed and engaged, especially around the trade deadline.
11. It’s three stars, not brain surgery. How staff at some rinks can get something so simple so wrong so often is mind boggling. Eliminate the headache altogether by dishing out one player of the game for each team.
12. Even if the North Bay Battalion isn’t playing, coach/GM Stan Butler has to deliver a postgame quote for the media in every city. The league veteran has a gift for the gab and makes stories come alive with his unique comments.
13. If you’re a grown adult and you scream obscenities at teenage players during games, you at least have to have the guts to seek out said player after the game and deliver the tirade face-to-face. That, or simply stay at home and watch the contest on TV.
14. Instead of asking coaches which player has the hardest shot or fastest feet, let’s find out. Put the players through a skills competition in their own barn during some down time in the season and then publish the results.
15. GMs that I’ve talked to agree the amount of draft picks included in trades is getting out of hand. So let’s limit the number of second rounders — or even total picks — that you can include in a swap.
16. The first overall pick in the OHL draft should be decided by a lottery involving the four teams that miss the playoffs. This will deter teams from tanking and encourage clubs to put more resources into developing players. And just think of the conspiracy theories that will pop up when a long-shot wins the coveted selection.
17. If game time is 7:05 p.m., it should start on time. Pre-game ceremonies are great but budget time before puck drop to honour, celebrate and present and keep the hockey on schedule.
18. If you’re in promotions and you ask a fan a trivia question during a break in play and the fan gets the answer wrong, that fan does not get a prize. What’s the point of asking if everyone wins all the time?
19. Consequently, if your hockey team name is the “Sex Panthers” and you somehow get an OH L team to welcome you tot her ink by posting your name on the scoreboard at centre ice multiple times, like the Rangers did recently, you deserve a prize.
20. All coaches of OHL clubs need to face the media after games (most do ). Nothing against assistants, but the public wants to hear from the person in charge after a win or a loss.
21. Every team in the league needs to take Peterborough’s lead and offer popcorn in the media room and/ or press box. A reporter needs to snack.