Golfers should always try to find ways to help other people new to the game to fall in love with golf

Nothing makes me sadder or madder in golf than hearing a story of someone who takes the next step in their golf journey by joining a golf league or signing up for a trial membership, and then learning that some veteran, know-it-all member spooks them with rules and etiquette “advice” on their very first day.

I remember my wife, an amazing elementary school teacher, commenting more than a decade ago about a growing set of rules at her school that she referred to as the “suck the fun out of school binder.”

So those of you who take it upon yourself to school a new golf member in the so-called ways of golf, do you know that you could be contributing to the “suck the fun out of golf ” guide at your club? Do you realize that you could, with just a few choice words, be reversing the hard work of many staff and fellow members in getting this person to even set foot at your club and test the waters?

It is interesting that in a sport where it’s not only impossible to master hitting and controlling the ball, but hard as hell to even become sort of proficient at it, that the “experienced” player chooses to demonstrate his or her seniority by throwing the rule book at the new golfer.

I have heard more than a few stories of female friends and work colleagues who join learn to play golf programs or leagues and often end up on the receiving

end of a rules violation related to how they dropped a ball or raked a bunker.

On their first night. I don’t think this golf bullying is exclusive to women, but I do believe that the majority of learn to play programs around here are designed for women (and juniors) and so this nasty behaviour may just be more obvious there.

Men have their own version of golf bullying, but that’s for another day. But I am intrigued by the cultures around men’s and women’s golf at our clubs, and how these differences can extend into how much we make our fellow golfers feel about their first few rounds.

For what it’s worth, here’s my tips on how to help rookie golfers fall madly in love with our beautiful sport.

1. Don’t ever, ever call a new golfer on a silly, inconsequential rules violation. Like teeing off six inches ahead of the markers or dropping a ball farther from the creek than the rule book allows.

2. If they are having a bad hole, and it’s a long par 5 and they are simply getting tired of topping or whiffing the ball, let them pick up. Yes, that is allowed and they won’t go straight to hell.

3. Don’t ever condemn someone for playing out of turn. Ready golf is now the accepted standard of golf everywhere. Do you really want to introduce this new golfer to a season of anxiety wondering if they are truly “away”?

4. Don’t ever, ever give a new golfer a lesson or a tip. The number of golfers who are both skilled enough to know enough about the golf swing and also experienced enough to know how to teach it, is about one tenth of one per cent of all golfers. The chance that you are such a person is highly unlikely.

5. Last but not least. Be the rookie golfer’s biggest fan. Give them kudos for hitting even mediocre shots. Words and phrases like “nice”, “well played” and “you were robbed” are always well received.

It is in everyone’s best interest to make golf easy to fall in love with. For God’s sake, don’t wreck it on the first date.