Life can be the ultimate balancing act
We are defined by both our words and our actions
As I grow older, I acknowledge the significant difference between words and actions.
A simple recognition really, but the most straightforward example I can give to recent date that smacked me upside the head with this reality, is how my family and I dropped everything this past weekend to visit my mom’s old high school friend’s wife and her husband - four hours away from us - as she is terminally ill with brain cancer.
The important thing in this case is not how ill she is, or how quickly she has deteriorated in recent weeks, but rather how when someone says they’ll be there for you, that they actually follow through.
Maybe it’s a stereotypical part of being a cancer survivor, but you learn a lot about the people you have surround yourself with when you get sick, and afterwards. You learn about who they are, and what their intentions are with you, and if they are worth your time, energy, and attention. It’s sad - but not entirely surprising to say that people fear sickness, but want to gravitate towards you after you’ve gone through sickness, to see all that you’re now able to accomplish. The fame that comes to you, but you hate to hear them call it that - and this doesn’t just go for cancer, it could be any disease or disability. Tokenization at its finest.
Then, the right words can mean a whole lot if you know how to use them. I think people get ideas confused, believing that words don’t mean as much as actions - and maybe they don’t - but the combination of the two is relentlessly resilient because that is the ultimate kind of compassion, I think; expressing care in every sense.
I use my words to show that I am trustworthy, kind, and strong, and I think my actions reflect that. And to say these things is to acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with accepting my own attributes; I am humble, not conceited.
One of the great things I am learning is to be eloquent with my words, and make sure I have thought them through and mean them.
It takes time to make time, and I am learning how to balance my personal and professional life, through words and actions, and allowing myself time.
If I cannot give my all to the things I have committed to, and said I would, then I am not being true to my personal self, who needs self-care to be able to function and do those things I love. I must ensure I am okay, to be okay in my professional roles.
When we visited this old friend of my mom’s, it opened my eyes so much to truly understand that work is not everything. It just isn’t. It can bring us a lot of happiness
‘It’s sad — but not entirely -surprising -- to say that people fear sickness, but want to gravitate towards you after you’ve gone through sickness, to see all that you’re now able to accomplish.’
if we are successful, but at the end of the day when you leave the office, and we come home to nothing, what are we really accomplishing?
We need people, not things; memories, not regrets; we need ourselves. If you don’t have yourself in this life, you have nothing.
We don’t have all the time in the world, but if we know how to use it, and what to invest it into, we could be all right.
Tessa Smith, 19, is a Peterborough writer attending Trent University for English literature. Tessa is a two-time cancer survivor, amputee, a motivational speaker and activist for human rights, among other things. Contact Tessa at tessasmith329@gmail.com