Rallying in Planes, Trains and Automobiles style
Peterborough’s Jack Hannah, Steve Hall cruise 2,720 km from Pennsylvania to Alabama
John Candy and Steve Martin had nothing on Jack Hannah and Steve Hall.
The Peterborough cousins drove their burned-out 1988 Chrysler LeBaron, inspired by the movie “Planes, Trains and Automobiles,” 2,720 kilometres from Moscow, Penn., to Leeds, Ala., from Jan. 29 to Feb. 1.
Candy and Martin’s beloved characters were trying to get home for Thanksgiving but Hannah and Hall were running the Retreat from Moscow Lemons Rally. It was the opening event of the 2019 24 Hours of Lemons rally series.
Hannah, 51, a City of Peterborough bus driver who also races the bone stock division at Peterborough Speedway, and Hall placed fourth of 42 teams.
The rally is a lot more about having fun than it is racing to finish first. Drivers decorated their vehicles in themes and points were awarded not for times but for style. The crappier the vehicle, the more points awarded.
“If you drove a Japanese car, you actually lost points because it’s too reliable,” Hannah said.
He and Hall purchased the LeBaron convertible and decorated it like the movie car with green paint, wood panel siding, a spare rear tire and they even burned the roof of a parts car and welded it to the vehicle to expose the framework when the convertible top was down.
“We started in Pennsylvania where it was -20 with the top down,” Hannah said. “We got 300 bonus stupidity points for running without the top.”
They even wore fur hats with ear flaps. It wasn’t just for show, it was also practical.
“We had four layers of clothing on and blankets across our laps,” Hannah said. “The heater doesn’t do much when there is no roof. It kept our toes warm but that was about it.”
Each day during the four-day rally, the goal was to reach a designated hotel and along the way collect photographs of the vehicle at various landmarks along the route.
“It would be a statue or a bridge or something like that. You’d take a photo of the car in front of it to prove you were there and then post it on Instagram. That’s how they tracked you,” Hannah said. “It’s almost like “Cannonball Run” meets the Poker Run, without the speed.”
It’s a great way to see a country riding primarily on single-lane highways and back roads. Many of the landmarks were off the beaten path.
“Someone once called these lemon rallies the speed dating of American tourism,” he said.
Each night there was a social gathering for teams. “You meet some interesting like-minded people who like cars and road trips who you might normally never meet,” Hannah said.
Unlike the movie, they were never pulled over by the police. “I was quite surprised. I was almost waiting for it,’ Hannah said. “There were some bigger wrecks than us.”
They had the convertible top up when they crossed the border but still got a few questions from customs officers.
“We had some funny looks,” Hannah said. “We explained the rally to him and he said, ‘OK, have a good day,’ and let us through.”
People in other cars took photos and they got lots of comments and questions at gas stations.
“I wish I could have filmed the look on some people’s faces,” he said.
Hannah has raced on and off at Peterborough Speedway since 2002. In 2017, he drove Route 66 in the U.S. to see the sites but this was his first rally.
“I love a good road trip,” Hannah said. “My wife (Shawna Longford) thinks I’m crazy. Anything further than the airport is too far for her, but she’s supportive. She tells me to go and have fun.”