The changing face of celebrating Birthdays, weddings, funerals ...COVID Style
Social Distancing. Restrictions on how many people can gather – inside and out. Mandatory face coverings. Staying six feet apart. This is the new ‘ normal’ in the face of a global pandemic and that means that we’ve had to alter the way we do things – and celebrating is a big one.
But, we are human. We have a need to celebrate. It’s part of our culture. It’s part of our DNA. And so, as a society, we’ve adapted.
No longer able to host large gatherings for birthdays, instead people have organized drive-by parades – horns tooting, homemade signs paying homage to milestone birthdays – young or old – and gifts being dropped off on porches. This is now a common occurrence.
Because of COVID, graduations, proms and school trips were postponed from March to June. While those March break trips couldn’t happen, schools still held ‘virtual’ graduation ceremonies or invited grads to a drive-through procession where teachers could wish them well as they picked up their diplomas from afar. Lawns all over the country were proudly dotted with signs celebrating the achievements of grade 12 students everywhere! People still dressed up in their formal wear and posed for prom pictures or held at-home prom parties without the guests – all in an effort to make the best of unusual circumstances.
And then there were the weddings and funerals. These two are a little more difficult because they are steeped in tradition. Weddings take months – even years – to plan. And funerals, although not something we plan for, are a necessary part of the grieving process.
When my own father was sick and dying in April, my large family was not allowed to be with him at his bedside in the long-term care facility he lived in. When we finally were able to have a funeral, it was months later and still with major restrictions. It was not the proper way to say goodbye.
For the O’Donoghue family of Brantford, life plans also changed big time in 2020. Instead of the 200-person wedding at the Elora Mill that was two years in the making, Tessa O’Donoghue and Josef Fediurek were married at the bride’s family cottage in French River, Ontario.
“It was nothing like what we had planned, but somehow, some way it all came together,” says mother of the bride, Judy O’Donoghue.
Originally planned for July 18th, the wedding was cancelled due to COVID, but the couple decided it didn’t mean they couldn’t still get married.
“It was heartbreaking. We have a huge family, and nothing was going to be happening as we had planned. But they both love the cottage – it was built by my dad Ted – and it made sense that they got married there,” says Judy, adding that the day ended up being perfect. So many details and little personal touches lent to the beauty of the day.
Neal, the father of the bride and Josef made an arch from paddles to adorn the dock where Tessa and Josef were wed. Tessa’s sister Chelsea made all the flower arrangements as well as the bride’s bouquet. Wild ferns, white roses and peonies dressed the table which was set with cottage dishes as well as Judy’s beloved grandmother’s dishes.
Everyone played a role in getting things done. Tessa’s brother Liam helped with transportation of guests, the golf cart was decorated complete with a just married sign and tin cans, and the groom’s sisters provided the music.
Ironically, Ted who had dementia, had fallen ill was not well enough to attend the wedding and sadly, he passed away just a week after the pair were married. The O’Donoghues like so many experienced love and loss all at once.
“We really felt him with us and having the wedding at the cottage was that much more special.”
The couple has rebooked the Elora Mill for March 2021. Although they are already ‘married’ they look forward to sharing their big day with friends and family they way they had originally planned.
“It was different, but she didn’t stop smiling. That made it all worth it.”
“It was different, but she didn’t stop smiling. That made it all worth it.”