At-home school schedules are wearing me down

Q: From a parent’s view, online schooling is hard! And I know I’m one of the lucky ones ... my two daughters both have great teachers.

Also, my girls are both good students and old enough to manage their own devices without my having to sit on top of them. And we were able to get second-hand laptops for them both.

But the weekdays of classes during lockdown periods are wearying.

My husband works from home and he and one daughter will go for a quick walk together with him after breakfast before her class starts. Her sister’s classes start earlier.

An hour later, that girl will have recess, which falls on me to get her off her device and outside for fresh air.

The day then toggles from there. She returns to a class and her sister has a break. Another recess and lunch, then both girls appear.

I can’t be on one daughter’s schedule and ignore the other — especially since my home “office” is in the kitchen!

Then my husband pops into the scene looking for his lunch! When the kids were at their school normally, he fended for himself.

But with our daughters home and lunch now an activity, he wants to be in on it!

Next thing I know, it’s recess for one girl again, and break for another.

The school day has ended. As has my non-productive work day. My husband then wants an outdoor family activity (usually a walk, again) and then it’s time for me to make dinner.

The days roll into each other and I’m mentally exhausted. Keeping the kids upbeat, off their devices when not in school, outdoors as much as possible, and active, too, is exhausting!

Desperate Days

A: Thanks for painting your days as a picture of what so many families are experiencing with home-schooling.

As you say, you’re still among the lucky ones — both you and your husband still working and earning, which is a godsend when so many have lost jobs and still have to feed a family and help their kids learn.

At every level in society, people are struggling through this pandemic the best they can.

Your example of encouraging getting home-based students outside to use their physical energy to walk or run, socially distanced, is important.

The one element you need to add is selfcare. Mothers, fathers, anyone in the household who’s keeping it all together, also need a break.

If you can, join one of the walks.

If not, take at least a half-hour rest with a book, magazine, podcast etc. that won’t interfere with the kids’ homework but will give you some quiet and peace.

Q: I’m female, in my early 20s, with a good friend who’s extremely insecure without reason.

It’s annoying. She’s very fit and pretty. Guys always look at her.

Example: Last October, she hurt her shoulder. She was all taped up.

But as soon as our boyfriends were around, she wore a tank top on a chilly evening!

She was showing off, which turned the whole conversation about her!

How should I handle that?

Annoyed

A: Raising a story about an incident last fall reveals the kind of small (petty) irritations almost everyone’s experiencing sometimes during this still-uncertain period of COVID-19’s impact.

She’s a friend and insecure.

Since you choose to remain friends, bring some understanding/compassion to whatever in her past relationships or upbringing is affecting her behaviour.

Just being annoyed doesn’t help either of you.

Ellie’s tip of the day

Until the pandemic ends through enough vaccinations and herd immunity, keep finding healthy ways to manage the stresses.