Focus on others may bring your own success

W

riter and motivator Zig Ziglar said, “You get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

There is tremendous depth to this statement and as many interpretations as there are people on the planet. It shines directly in contrast to the ideal of the rugged individualist so prevalent in many Western societies.

The first question to ask ourselves is, “What do I want?” In other words, we need to have a clear goal.

Ziglar started his career as a salesman and his goal was to make money. He understood that a good salesperson lives with integrity, listens to customers and understands their needs. When buyers have the product they want in their hands and have paid a fair price, they are happy and so is the seller. It is a simple win-win situation.

As a teacher, I want to make a positive difference in the world. By working to educate my students and draw out their giftedness, this goal is achieved.

I discovered an even more profound meaning to Ziglar’s statement recently as I was discussing the book Night by Elie Wiesel with my students. Wiesel was a weak and timid teenager who survived not only the infamous Holocaust death camp at Auschwitz, but also the Buchenwald Death March. When asked how he was able to stay alive, Wiesel, who died in 2016, often stated in interviews that he did not know.

Readers of his memoir clearly note, however, that Wiesel was focused on the well-being of his father throughout his concentration camp experience. He observed that other sons abandoned their fathers, yet he refused to do so. Wiesel’s goal was to save himself, not just for his own sake, but so that he could help his father to stay alive. While physically stronger men died all around him, his profound love for his father kept the young Wiesel alive.

Some may realize that in order to be strong for others, they need to care for themselves.

On a social level we see the same reality. Lloyd Pendleton, for example, once believed that people were homeless by their own choice, and homelessness could never be eliminated because too many people were making bad choices. Then he experienced a paradigm shift.

Pendleton knew that in his state of Utah, there was “an underlying feeling and desire and willingness to collaborate to serve our neighbours.”

This perspective allowed citizens to see the homeless as people who were hurt and suffering. Pendleton’s organization thus began to use a “harm reduction” method to meet the immediate needs of homeless people by, for example, giving needles to drug addicts to prevent the spread of disease. They treated the people with respect and patience, and gradually earned their trust.

In the end, homelessness was virtually eliminated in Utah. They had created a win-win situation where a desire to love and serve others, something which is innate in the human spirit, allowed others to meet their basic human need for safety and security.

A community was thus created that Pendleton once thought was unattainable.

Though it may seem counterintuitive to make the well-being of others a priority in our lives, we really do get what we need in life by being our very best for the benefit of our neighbours.