When coworkers don’t respect your deadlines, work load

QI work in a creative role for a small organization. In the past year, our workloads have tripled under new leadership that is accustomed to having more resources and sets unrealistic goals. As the only one on staff with my skill set, I try to be accommodating. However, it’s been my experience that people don’t understand that, though my projects might look easy, what I do takes skill and training and time.

They also don’t understand that last-minute requests and changes can throw a huge wrench into my workload.

I have repeatedly asked my co-workers to plan ahead and discuss requests with me. I have also addressed this with my higher-ups. Though I’m told I have the right to say no, I’m inevitably asked to accommodate co-workers.

How can I turn this around? I want to be liked and respected, but I also don’t want to get walked over just because my job seems easy or fun. Unless you’re the owner or a virtuoso in your field, a lack of likability carries professional penalties – especially for women, who are almost exclusively tagged as “abrasive” just for asserting themselves. But that doesn’t mean letting yourself be buried with a people-pleasing grin on your face.

Some tips:

• Add project management to your skills. Treat organizing as a separate part of your workload – triage, scheduling, managing expectations.

• Respond without reacting. Neutrally acknowledge requests and buy yourself time to cool down: “I’m in the thick right now; can I get back to you by...?”

• Explain the trade-offs, then leave “yes” or “no” to the requester. “I can change that, but it will mean pushing the release back another week.”

• Get your bosses’ backing for each specific “no.” Give them the full picture: what’s on your plate, who’s requesting what, what’s possible. A fully informed “no” from the boss is less likely to be overruled.

• Stop dwelling on how colleagues don’t understand or respect the process; all that mental muttering leads to defensiveness. Trust that the quality of your product speaks for itself, and set appropriate limits to protect that quality.

• Don’t apologize for setting boundaries. But do apologize if, despite your best efforts, anxiety, fear, resentment or frustration bubble up in the form of snark, sighs, snapping or lectures. Step out of the moment to acknowledge your stress – and theirs.

Ask Karla Miller about your work dramas and traumas by emailing wpmagazine@washpost.com.

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