Pre-spring punishment of lingering snow

So my Dear John letter to snow didn’t work and it started snowing when my column went to press.

And, after a delicious week full of snow, rain and moderately-warmer weather, I am proud to report that my driveway is nearly not drivable. One of the punishments that pre-spring (pre-spring because it’s not really spring until this cursed snow is gone) can bring is retribution for your laziness during the winter. Remember that time that you drove over your driveway instead of shovelling it and tried to pretend that it wasn’t going to matter? Guess what?! It really does matter.

There is a shin-deep slushy mess on my driveway and no, I will not stand outside with an ice chipper and physically hack away the visual reminder that we are not great at always shovelling. The construction of our driveway does not lend itself well to really wanting to shovel all winter. It is fairly steep and it can get very icy. Really, besides the fellow who lives down the street who sweeps his driveway all winter, who has time to shovel all the time? Surely it can’t only be us who loses interest in snow maintenance?

I am not retired and have lots of time for fiddly things – I am just tired. I suspect that even if I were independently wealthy and had lots of time for things like shovelling, I would likely hire someone, or live in a place without snow.

It is entirely possible however that in a month I will have forgotten about how grumpy I feel right now and I will be waxing enthusiastically about the funky smells of spring. What I know for sure is that Spring Break is misnamed.

Spring Break should be called “frantically trying to find a day camp for my son that is not full and feeling stupid that I waited as long as I did to think about it.” But I suspect that my new name is a bit too long and it does not flow off the tongue as nicely as Spring Break does. In addition to successfully finding a day camp (thank you, Youth Soccer Association), I also spent an extraordinary amount of time this week trying to register the kids in swim lessons that fit our schedule.

Or maybe, Spring Break should be called “the driveway’s revenge” and it would be a D-list horror flick wherein leftover snow rises up into a slush-monster that swallows minivans whole.

I hope that everyone enjoys their Spring Break and that it is a little bit of a break for you and your family. Send kind thoughts my way as I try to get out of the driveway avoiding the sentient slush-monster that is out to get me.