Will I ever get my act together?

Look!

Squirrel!

My brain injury has significantly impacted my focus and concentration. An attempt at planning and organizing my day in a timely and orderly manner is like expecting to win the lottery.

My peers at the Brain Injured Group (BIG) and I share many common symptoms. Not having our previous level of focus and concentration can be extremely frustrating and deflating.

Here is a typical day for me. My dog wakes me up between 7 and 8 every morning. I get out of bed, have coffee and look at my to-do list, which looks quite daunting. I have a bite of my breakfast and get distracted with a word game on my phone.

Two hours later, I’m still in my pajamas. The dogs have eaten their breakfast and are cuddled up to me on the couch. I look at my to-do list again and feel overwhelmed. I’m having a hard time deciding what errand I should do first.

It’s noon, I’m still in my pajamas and I’m watching the news. I can’t make a decision about what to do with my day. I decide to take a shower and get dressed. It’s now 2. I look at my phone and I have new messages and texts on there. One text read “Diane where are you?” Why didn’t I hear the phone? Oh no, the ringer was turned off.

I bail on my commitment because I’m in a flap about not hearing the text ring and being late. I have no sense of time, I’m very forgetful and I am not reliable. Don’t count on me because I will disappoint you.

It’s now 5, I’m still in my pajamas and my dogs are barking up a storm. Right, I have to feed them their supper. There’s a knock on the door. I end up spending half an hour talking to a friend who dropped by. I go back in the house and my dogs are going crazy because they want their supper. I feed them. I notice a piece of toast on the counter with one bite out of it. My stomach starts growling. I ask myself what I had to eat today. I draw a complete blank.

It’s 7. My husband wants to know what we are having for supper. Whoops, I forgot to take something out for supper. I guess we’re having take- out and delivery again. For the third night in a row.

It’s 9. I’m still in my pajamas. I’m watching videos on my phone. Our food arrived an hour ago, my hubby Bob has already eaten and is watching T.V. I find a slice of pizza on the counter with one bite out of it. Bob says I should finish it and have a second slice. He has long given up trying to have sit-down meals with me because I get distracted and walk away.

At 10, I see the laundry hamper is overflowing so I attempt to do laundry. My dogs bark to be let outside. I stand outside with them and when I come back in I can’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing. I decide to check out Facebook.

Twelve bells. Bob calls out “Diane, come to bed it’s midnight!” so I do.

The next morning, Bob is looking for a clean work shirt to wear. Nope, they’re all in the laundry hamper since God knows how long. I blame it on the darn squirrel. What, no coffee? I step in dog poop without realizing it and track it all over the house. I clean it up and I’m exhausted. Why do I have a pounding headache? I see the slice of uneaten pizza still on the counter. I’d better eat something soon.

All I ask is that I accomplish one thing today and this will make me very happy. Look!

Squirrel!

Ugh.