From Mr. to Miss Understood
Trans writer charts voyage from husband and father to drug-addicted sex worker
When all appears lost, writing often fuels the struggle to survive. In Miss Understood, street poet Antonette Rea recounts her quest to find her true self and her keenly honest observations are the play’s core.
An often harrowing tale, the show follows a small-town husband and father’s epic quest to come to terms with lifelong gender identity issues. From housed to homeless, loved to rejected, and eventual life as a drugaddicted sex worker on the Downtown Eastside, Rea frames the work with her scribing.
“I did have a family and two children, was a hockey and soccer dad working regular jobs such as clothing care expert and real estate agent,” says Rea. “At that time, Antonette/the feminine was stuffed away because I wanted a family and the love of my children, because that had not been part of my life growing up really.”
Miss Understood is Rea’s pen name. She hit upon it when life had reached rock bottom and requests came in to read at poetry slams and at the Thursdays Writing Collective.
Putting down verses in a notebook was one of the few positives in a life where death was looking more and more viable as a way out of the pain.
“There was something about the poems which really gave me strength and some release to the feminine when things were so bad and I was all alone,” says Rea.
“Being trans is to decide to lead a very lonely life at times because people don’t understand what is going on. Some sisters think that it’s just a birth defect that they are getting fixed, but it’s so much more to go through.”
The show, directed by James Fagan Tait and choreographed by Noam Gagnon, stars both Rea as well as Starlise Waschuk and Austin Eckert covering different ages in her personal history.
It’s all told with directness and honesty, so the aptly-named the Frank Theatre Company is producing the piece. She is quite pleased that the PuSh International Performing Arts Festival is presenting the work.
“Times have really changed and one of the things I try to explain is how back in time, being intersex was equated with being someone who needed to be locked away and kept out of society and certainly not watched telling stories on stage,” she says. “As someone who presents the feminine and also can’t deny the testosterone-generated features I came with, I wanted to let the world know that there is a place for everyone. People are quick to have opinions and give advice but far less willing to offer genuine help.”
Coming out in a small-town community meant Rea had no options and wound up heading to somewhat more accepting urban environs.
“But the reality is that a combination of few-to-no options to make a living, rising depression and emotional pressures and more eventually lead to sex work and the pathway to addiction is always right there,” says Rea.
“I really tried, time and time again, cleaning up and even putting a man’s suit back on, to try for work. But that wouldn’t work for long.”
Ultimately, Rea came through something “similar to a religious or spiritual awakening which gave me the strength to keep going up against so much evil and hate.”
As the progression off drugs to better living conditions and a more stable lifestyle came, so did the sense of being at peace.
“The truth is that if you reach out there are people who will help and work through it with you and offer you the support you need to be comfortable,” says Rea.
“Part of why I’m where I am today is because I found the inner peace to open up and doing a show like this is nothing compared. I’m a drama queen to the core.”
Over-the-top is always bubbling underneath Miss Understood.
Director Tait likens it to the “Yin and Yang of Antonette’s life.”
Even though much of the material is serious, there is a sly humour throughout.
“Being intersex was equated with being someone who needed to be locked away.”
Antonette Rea on being transgender