THE WINNERS

Most have already been announced — like all award shows, the bulk of the Junos are handed out before the TV shindig. The Grammys do it in the afternoon; the Junos did it Saturday at a “gala” dinner/party. That might sound something like the Golden Globes, but having seen it several times, I can assure you it packs all the glitz and glamour of an insurance company convention mixer crossed with a high school graduation banquet. If you didn’t watch it streaming online — then hang yourself from the shower curtain after realizing how you spent your Saturday night — this year’s event was emceed by (surprise!) Canada’s Smartest Person host Jessi Cruickshank, with performances by Afiara Quartet & Skratch Bastid, Fortunate Ones, SonReal, Young Empires and others. More than 35 trophies were handed out, leaving just a handful of awards for Sunday. Sorry, Children’s Entertainer of the Year nominees. Fingers crossed for 2017.