Pop forecast
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” but these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop culture offerings is just what we need. With that in mind, here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.
Movies
Big releases on July 29: Bad Moms; Jason Bourne.
Big picture: Another Friday, another girl-power comedy. It’s Bridesmaids meets Bad Teacher meets Mean Girls. Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell star as “bad moms” overcommitted and overwhelmed — all thanks to society’s unrealistic expectations. Hilarity ensues when they decide to rebel, and take down the Stepford Wives’ clones that rule their school PTA. Their “revolutionary” exploits include bringing store-bought cookies to a bake sale … and a moms-gone-wild house party complete with whipped cream, candy, vodka, drunk-and-disorderliness, and mom-on-mom makeouts. Hmmm … Can you tell the script was written by two men (let alone the guys that brought us The Hangover)? Meanwhile, Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) becomes a pacifist and hangs up his guns forever (just kidding, that’s opening in the U.S. in an alternate universe). Bourne is back with a licence to shoot, punch, kill, hack and blow stuff up real good. “He’s seen things; he knows things,” one character intones. Bourne is like Santa Claus, only slightly better with a grenade launcher. Craggy-faced Tommy Lee Jones returns to play a human-Grumpy Cat hybrid that also happens to be CIA director.
Forecast: One of two things will come out of Hollywood re-discovering a rare sure thing. Bourne will be made the new Agent 007, or we’ll soon be watching a cash-cow crossover movie called Bond vs. Bourne.
TV
Big events: Tallulah (July 29, Netflix); Sharknado: The 4th Awakens (July 31, Space).
Big picture: Juno sure has fallen on hard times. Back in 2007, she was all about teenage pregnancy, whimsical singalongs and witty insights into punk music. Now she’s into baby-napping and spinning webs of lies. Ellen Page plays Lu, a drifter living in a van. After accidentally being hired to babysit for a truly bad mother, she recklessly decides to kidnap her young charge. Meanwhile, the Sharknado TV film franchise proves it still has B-movie bite with its fourth instalment. This time Sharknadoes are joined by the likes of a firenado, oilnado and cownado (if you survive you can host a truly epic barbecue). Five years after the East Coast was ravaged, Ian Ziering and Tara Reid are back to save us from an attack on Vegas. Forecast:
Tallulah is a Netflix original that opens in select theatres simultaneously. (Your move, HBO.)
Music
Big release on July 29: Billy Talent (Afraid Of Heights).
Big picture: The Canadian rockers return for their fifth album, but only their second album not named Billy Talent. Expect Juno- and Much-award love for the group’s first outing since 2012’s Dead Silence. The talented Jordan Hastings of Alexisonfire joined the band in the studio for this one, and guitarist Ian D’Sa continues to prove himself as the band’s primary songwriter. My favourite track listing is Ghost Ship of Cannibal Rats — mainly because I think it would make a great Donald Trump campaign theme song.
Forecast: Billy Talent will prove they aren’t afraid of success. I’m hoping the band’s next effort will be called Afraid of Sharknado or Afraid of Being Part of a World in Which Someone Bankrolled a First, Second, Third and Fourth Sharknado.