Author David Sedaris digs into the vaults, and spares no cringes
David Sedaris has pulled out his darkest and funniest entries over the past 25 years
Book signing
David Sedaris: Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002) June 20, 7 p.m. | Indigo Granville
After the usual polite greetings, author David Sedaris asks, “What’s your address?”
I told him the street, but fumbled over the postal code — I was a bit thrown off by the question.
Now, a rational brain says Sedaris, a southerner from Raleigh, N.C., is the type to send out a hand-written note on heavy-bond stationary thanking me for talking with him about his new book, Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002).
However, the hopeful, long-standing, Sedaris-reading me dreams of a parcel containing some sort of taxidermy stoat or, say, a note written on a crumpled flyer for a community theatre production of The Book Mormon he found discarded outside a coffee shop during recent travels. It should be noted that Sedaris’s West Sussex, England neighbours refer to him as “That American bloke who picks up garbage.” When he is home, he spends four to nine hours per day on litter duty. It’s his thing. In fact, the local council has actually named a garbage truck after him.
So, suffice it to say, I am checking the mailbox daily.
Sedaris will be here on June 20 at Indigo Granville to read from and sign copies of Theft by Finding.
The author of such hilarious books as Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and When You are Engulfed in Flames has pulled out his deepest, darkest and funniest diary entries from “about 164 books” and offered them up to readers. From doing drugs and navigating the perils of life in a tough neighbourhood, to teaching uninterested students and dealing with a difficult dad, to hours observing people in an IHOP restaurant, the Sedaris show is a good one.
From Jan. 9, 1989, Raleigh: “Last night, I wondered if other teachers get stoned at night. Can I be the only one? Classes start next week and I am not at all prepared.”
From Jan. 23, 1990, Chicago: “According to the mother of one of my new students, women whose last names end in the letter A tend to have larger breasts than women whose names ending in any other letter. The student, Lisa, had her arms crossed when she said this.”
Looking back over 25 years of diary entries, Sedaris says he feels he was very honest. However, re-reading his past reality has made him nervous enough to face his contemporary entries with a stricter eye on the future — an act he realizes is more vain than valiant.
“I checked myself last week because I wrote something in my diary, and maybe because this book came out I thought maybe that’s a little bit too honest. I thought, ‘I don’t think I ever want to see that sentence again,’ so I got rid of it,” said Sedaris recently over the phone from Toronto. “That’s a mistake, probably. It’s good to be embarrassed by things. It’s good to recall the person you used to be. If it makes you cringe, so be it.”
So when was the last time he made himself cringe?
“A couple of days ago. I was on a plane and I was in first class and the guy a couple of rows ahead of me had pyjama bottoms on,” said Sedaris, who has sold over 10 million books. “It wasn’t like he changed into pyjama bottoms for the flight. He wore pyjama bottoms to the airport. I think I am perfectly within my rights to observe that, but the way I wrote about it seemed so snobbish to me that I thought, ‘Eh, that’s not the person I want to be.’
“I mean, we were both in first class. It’s just that one of us didn’t belong there,” he said, then burst into laughter. “I think that was the last time I was embarrassed by something I saw in my diary.”
While looking back isn’t always easy or recommended, Sedaris says there are certainly entries that made him happy and reminded him of halcyon days.
“There was a time in the mid-’90s, and I was living in New York City and my first book came out and my sister (Amy) and I were doing these plays in New York,” said Sedaris. “It was everything that all of us ever dreamed of.
“It was such a beautiful time and people have said, ‘Why don’t you go back and do that again.’ No, you had to be that age. It was something you did in that moment. There were a lot of times like that,” said Sedaris. “A lot of times when I meet young people I say, ‘Gosh, you are so lucky right now,’ and they don’t see it because they don’t have what they want yet, but they are learning that work is its own reward, and they are hoping for things, and they are hopeful and they’re young”
You also can’t sell them on the idea of slowing their social media roll and not listing “likes” as accomplishments. Sedaris is happy to report that he is happy not checking in with the Twittersphere and the like.
“I don’t have Twitter or Facebook or anything like that, so I am not tuned in with what people are saying about me. I don’t care to,” said Sedaris.
But, he can’t avoid the real world and admits any sign of real-life failure forces him to engage a somewhat fantastical coping mechanism.
“If somebody walks out of a show, I’m devastated. I tell myself, ‘Oh, it’s a doctor on call,’ and then if a bunch of people walks out, I think, ‘Oh, there must have been a bus accident and all the doctors in the audience are having to leave,’” said Sedaris. “I hate the thought that somebody’s not entertained.”
The book tour aside, Sedaris is working on an essay collection slated to publish at the end of the year. This fall, he will be going out on a 40-city lecture tour. As good as Sedaris is on the page, he is equally as great during live readings and lectures. His book tour stops are wellknown for the high level of engagement with his readers.
“I like signing books and I enjoy talking to people,” said Sedaris. “I mean, I don’t like small talk like when I check into a hotel and they say, ‘How was your trip?’ But I don’t talk to people that way, so I try not to let people talk to me that way.”