MOVIES

Big Release on June 21: Transformers: The Last Knight

Big Picture: The Transformers go … Arthurian? Now, you’re likely already confused about why alien “robots-in-disguise” keep taking the form of human vehicles — and the occasional robo-dinosaur — in order to wage a secret, relentless war on Earth. Adding Camelot mythology into the mix can only muddle matters further. But bringing in an Oscar-calibre, veteran English actor — in this case Sir Anthony Hopkins — to help explain the Transformers’ ancient roots helps cover up the silliness. Plus, his “English lord” character wears a wise-oldman cap and lives in a castle — so he must be telling the truth.

It turns out, Excalibur wasn’t just a sword — it was some sort of intergalactic weapon. Oh, and the Autobots may have once sat at the Round Table alongside King Arthur. Or something. If you’re worried the action franchise is getting too literary, don’t be daft. Director Michael Bay ensures that in between every Mark Wahlberg grimace, and every line of Hopkins’ exposition (sample: “the imminent destruction of everything we know and love begins”), there are 25 exploding cars, planes, trucks, buildings, alien-robots or people.

Forecast:

Much like Optimus Prime, this blockbuster franchise will be reborn again and again. Hopkins’ venerable hero even asks a serious question: “You want to know why, don’t you — why they keep coming here?” Not really. At this point, I don’t care how the Transformers got here; I just want to know how to get them to stop coming back every three years to kill more of my brain cells.