Don’t let the vacation ruin the friendship
Make sure everyone will be compatible before going away together
You know your friends. You know you get along in all situations. But if you’re considering going on vacation together — and you haven’t before — there are a number of questions that must be asked (if not directly put to them, than at least run by each other). For example:
— When presented with the wine list are they, “two down from the house white” types, or more the “flick to the back of the book, have a discreet word with the waiter and the next thing you know a bottle is being decanted on an adjacent linen-covered table” type. You want to be crystal clear on this one.
— Are they over-orderers? Meaning, are they the sort who want all the fish specials, and double up on the tapas, and then you can’t eat half of it. (To be fair, you lost your appetite seeing the price of the sea bass).
— Politics. No one ever took politics on vacation until last year. Now it’s all you’ll talk about — and it will get heated, even if you’re in agreement. Someone will say, “what people don’t understand ...” and you’re off. Probably check that you’re on the same side first.
— In what circumstances would they put the TV on? In the event of bad news? A World Cup soccer qualifier? Poldark with Spanish subtitles? And while we’re on the subject: what are your technology rules? These days, the most unlikely people turn up on vacations with their iPads and never put them away, their excuse being “work” or “sorting out the kids.” (NB: there must be an iPad for those moments when you need to look up panda videos on YouTube, or win the argument about where some celebrity’s mole was).
— Where do they stand on music? I’m not being funny but other peoples’ musical tastes can get quite annoying, and there’s also the issue of when they like to crank it up. Some people — often the quiet ones — like Katy Perry’s Firework during breakfast and Now! That’s What I Call Acid House (Vol. 37) for sunbathing. Or their children do, and they have never yet in living memory said no to their children.
— If families are involved, are your kids compatible? Not do their children get along with yours? Are you parenting on the same page, meaning such important things as access to the gin, and whether they get to order anything in the beach restaurant besides french fries.
— Are you compatible when it comes to food?
— Also (and this is a mid-life issue) are you cooking compatible? In my experience, vacations at this stage can get quite competitive in the kitchen, as in “Oh! I wouldn’t put that in a salad niçoise” or “Can I not have the marinade, if that’s how you’re doing it.”
— Are they swimmers? Gymmers? Non-movers? To each their own, but these groups don’t mix.
— Other things to watch for. They never come equipped, so they definitely will not bring enough sun lotion or sunscreen. Their marriage may be on the rocks. There you go. It’ll probably all be fine.