The Province

‘You have to get your kicks online’

Well-known Canadian musicians using Tinder to meet potential romantic partners

- David Friend

TORONTO — The closest singer and guitarist Jordan Miller gets to courtship these days is mingling with fellow singletons on Tinder while she tours North America. As a member of Juno Award-winning rock band the Beaches, the 21-year-old says the dating app helps keep her connected — even if some users might recognize her as a public figure.

“When you’re a musician you’re travelling around a lot. You don’t really have the opportunit­y to go to a local bar all the time and meet people organicall­y,” she says. “You sort of have to get your kicks online.”

It’s a perspectiv­e shared by fellow Toronto singer Anne Douris, who performs under the pseudonym Bossie. She dabbles in Tinder dating and signed up for the free account using photos that downplayed her music career.

Douris says while “the odd person” has recognized her face, she hasn’t encountere­d dates who seem preoccupie­d with her stage persona.

“It comes up from time to time, but I don’t really worry about it as a thing that could disturb my career,” she says.

“Generally at this point (there), hasn’t been anything that’s freaked me out.”

One question that lingers for musicians is what Tinder means beyond their mobile phones. Potentiall­y, conversati­ons could look embarrassi­ng years from now, if they’re published by a stranger.

There’s also a chance their profiles could be posted and mocked on social media or the subject of a number of websites that highlight celebrity dating accounts. At least one blog has posted rock musician Tinder profiles alongside gossip about sexual encounters.

Earlier this year, Tinder drew attention for how Hedley frontman Jacob Hoggard appeared to use the app for hookups.

A 24-year-old Ottawa fan alleged to the CBC that he used Tinder’s messaging platform to arrange a meeting at a Toronto hotel where she said she was sexually assaulted. Hoggard’s lawyer Brian Shiller has described the encounter as one where the two “made a mutual plan to get together to have sex and they did just that.”

Jooyoung Lee, a sociologis­t at the University of Toronto, says he believes the convenienc­e factor is Tinder’s greatest appeal to some in the music industry.

“It’s a digital backstage,” he says. “It allows male musicians to have access to young women who may be sexually interested in a person because of their celebrity.”

“We’ve long heard stories in the ’80s with rock stars having groups shuttled into their party vans and backstage areas where all kinds of stuff happens. Now we have an app that sort of facilitate­s that.”

Music publicist Eric Alper doesn’t necessaril­y agree with assumption­s that musicians generally use Tinder for sex. He says after talking to a number of prominent Canadian artists, many are hoping to find life partners on the app rather than just casual hookups.

“Artists tell me that gets boring after a while,” he says. “If you’re famous, you rarely get outside your hotel room. And if you’re not famous it can be a very lonely existence going from the hotel to the car ... and onto the next city.”

Toronto pop singer Raffaela Weyman, who performs under the name Ralph, stands behind Tinder’s success rate. Over the past few years she estimates going on 15 to 17 dates using Tinder before she met her boyfriend through the app last year.

“It’s 2018, we have all this media and advanced apps on our hands — let’s friggin’ utilize them,” she says, pointing to how difficult it is to find a good partner in isolated corners of the community.

“You go to the same bars, you go to the same parties. Everyone’s dating everyone, everyone’s slept with everyone else ... When you date in a small pool, you start forgetting about the things you’re looking for.”

She says Tinder helped her meet people beyond her comfort zone, eventually matching her with a guy who lived just down the road.

Relationsh­ip columnist Jen Kirsch is surprised by how many Canadian musicians willingly throw themselves into the Tinder pool using their real names and recognizab­le photos.

“If you’re a notable personalit­y ... and it seems like you’re having an intimate connection with another person on Tinder,” she says, “chances are they’re showing their few closest friends.”

Tiffany Mondesir felt a thrill in spotting a celebrity on Tinder. Some time ago, she came across a popular Canadian DJ who she instantly recognized.

“I screen-shotted it and sent it to my friend,” she said. “I was like, ‘Um, look at this profile I stumbled onto.’”

Kirsch says hearing experience­s like that hasn’t stopped her musician friends from using Tinder to hook up or hang out.

“It seems weird and bizarre to us common folk that someone who’s a celebrity, and seems to have people throwing themselves at them, would use Tinder but ... it’s easy.”

Nick Dika, bassist for Hamilton rock band Arkells, says he’s not interested in Tinder dating. If he was, he jokingly says he’d probably only use the app to pose as other people — a common practice known as “catfishing.”

Dika doesn’t think anyone would recognize his face if he joined the app.

“That’s not that applicable for bass players,” he says, “So I wouldn’t be too concerned about that.”

Jann Arden isn’t sold on the idea of wading into Tinder dating waters. Even though her curiosity has spanned many social media platforms, including Snapchat and Instagram, the 56-year-old says she’s not buying into finding love through a phone app.

“I don’t want to subject myself to that — ever,” the Calgary native insists.

“When you’re famous, you rarely get outside your hotel room.” ERIC ALPER MUSIC PUBLICIST

“I’m sure it’s great for some people ... but I’m doing it the old fashioned way. Just drink too much beer, go to a dance and end up in a pick-up truck at 1:30 in the morning. That’s the Tinder I knew.”

Singer Ralph, born Raffaela Weyman, didn’t let her rising stardom put a damper on experiment­ing with Tinder a couple years ago.

“There were a couple people who messaged me like, ‘Oh my God you’re Ralph,’” she says.

“That’s generally not the best line to start with because it kind of makes me feel like you want to date me so you can tell your friends and post about it on Instagram ... I think I phased (those conversati­ons), out in what I perceived to be an elegant way.”

 ?? — CP ?? Jordan Miller, second right, with her band, The Beaches. The singer/guitarist confesses to using Tinder to fill those lonely Saturday nights. “You don’t really have the opportunit­y to ... meet people organicall­y.”
— CP Jordan Miller, second right, with her band, The Beaches. The singer/guitarist confesses to using Tinder to fill those lonely Saturday nights. “You don’t really have the opportunit­y to ... meet people organicall­y.”

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