Family struggles to deal with mom’s dementia
“We need to talk about mom.”
That’s the narrative fulcrum wielded by Chicago-raised actor and first-time writer/ director Elizabeth Chomko, who digs deep into her personal history for this story of a family dealing with dementia. But a strong screenplay and some top-notch talent mean we get more than one character’s point of view. Chomko’s sympathies are liberally dispensed.
The story kicks off as Ruth (Blythe Danner), suffering from worsening dementia, wanders from her Chicago home on a winter’s night. Husband Burt (Robert Forster) goes in search and calls son Nick (Michael Shannon) to help. Nick’s phone rings with a red-alert klaxon when it’s his father calling; they clearly don’t have many casual chats.
Nick in turn contacts his sister, Bridget (Hilary Swank), who flies in from California with her troubled university-age daughter (Taissa Farmiga). But as often happens when grown siblings get together, old childish habits resurface, enacted with adult strength and consequences.
You’ve seen these types before. Heck, you probably are one of them, and are related to one or two more. Bridget is the bridge-builder and peacekeeper of the family, while Burt is a gruff pragmatist, whose favourite phrase is that there are “no bells and whistles” in romance. He’s also fond of: “You know what your problem is?”
Nick has picked up more than a little of that style, which
WHAT THEY HAD
Grade: B Theatres, showtimes, pages 30-31
is why father and son clash like electrically charged particles.
Almost lost amid the fireworks is Ruth, whom Danner plays just about perfectly: shaky and withdrawn.
Nick is adamant that his mom be placed in a facility that can care for dementia patients. Burt has it in his head that they’ll move to Florida, where at least she won’t freeze if she takes off in the middle of the night. Bridget desperately searches for middle ground.
Movies about dementia are nothing new; think of The Notebook. Where Chomko’s script excels is in how it sketches out the family dynamic and all its ever moving, ever-changing parts. Bridget’s marriage is rocky, Nick’s relationship even more so. It’s a case of the messed up leading the messed up.
The production leans more heavily than it needs to on establishing shots of Chicago and sepia-toned images of Ruth and Burt in their younger days. But it also features some spot-on images that may break your heart.
When Bridget looks beneath her parents’ Christmas tree, for instance, she sees two presents, one from Ruth to Burt, the other from Burt to Ruth. Both tags are written in her father’s hand.