‘One of the toughest guys you’ll meet’
Canucks’ Motte shows his strength by sharing his battle with depression and anxiety
There is nothing remarkable about Tyler Motte, the hockey player.
Now in his fifth year of pro with his third organization, the 24-year-old Michigan product has carved out a fourth-line role with the Vancouver Canucks largely because of his speed and tenacity.
He has scored three goals in 20 games this season. Over his career he’s scored 21 times in 173 regular-season games. Like we said, nothing remarkable there; just one of the NHL’s worker bees, someone virtually anonymous to all but the most devout members of the Canucks’ fan base.
Then you listen to Motte tell his story, listen to him talk about battling depression and anxiety, and how it isn’t easy stepping out of the shadows but that maybe, just maybe it will help someone else.
Then you realize you have to rethink your definition of the word “remarkable”.
“You hear about other people and their stories,” Motte said in the Canucks’ dressing room before Thursday’s tilt against the visiting Arizona Coyotes.
“You reflect on their courage and their ability to come out and help others. Then you reflect on yourself. You feel you can do the same. It’s about wanting change and wanting others to know they’re not alone. I’m not one to put myself in the spotlight, but I took it as an opportunity to help others.”
Shortly after Motte finished this interview, he huddled with Corey Hirsch, the Canucks’ radio colour man who battled his own mental health issues during his playing career. Two years ago, Hirsch went public with his own story of battling an obsessive-compulsive disorder that drove him to the brink of suicide.
He said his experience was transformative. This is what he said about Motte: “Tyler Motte has no idea how many lives he just saved. People who are depressed will see that and they’ll go and get help. They’ll see if this guy, an NHL player, can come forward with his story, I can get help.
“(Chicago Blackhawks goalie) Robin Lehner (who speaks openly about his continuing fight with mental illness) said mental health doesn’t mean mental weakness. They are some of the strongest people I know and (Motte) is one of the toughest guys you’ll meet.”
Which means we better rethink how we define toughness as well.
Motte’s story, which first appeared on the Canucks’ website, coincided with the seventh annual Hockey Talks game and therein lies another remarkable story. Started by the hockey club as MindCheck — a legacy project to honour former Canuck Rick Rypien, who died in 2012 — the initiative has grown to include 15 other NHL teams including all seven NHL franchises. The Canucks hope it will become leaguewide.
“The change is incredible,” Hirsch said. “I would have never, ever been able to say anything like that in my day (Hirsch’s pro career lasted from 1992 to 2006). For him to feel safe with his story now just shows you where it’s going.”
Motte first noticed something was wrong in his second year of pro with the AHL’s Rockford IceHogs in the Blackhawks’ chain. He felt listless. There were days when he couldn’t summon the energy to get out of bed. He tried to fight through it because that’s what hockey players do but, through the encouragement of his girlfriend, he eventually sought professional help.
He was diagnosed last off-season when he heard the words “depression” and “anxiety” for the first time.
That was a good day. It was also a difficult day.
“I don’t think anyone wants to hear those words when they talk about themselves or their loved ones,” Motte said. “That was the biggest challenge, to say those words, to hear those words. But it confirmed many things I might have been feeling and others were seeing.
“It’s not the easiest thing to do. But it was the first step to accepting it and accepting it lifted a weight off my shoulders.”
He’s learned a few things along the way. There are no cures, no magic pills. But you can learn skills that allow you to cope when the black dog comes around.
“I was nervous going into my first session and wondering which way it was going to go,” he said. “It’s not something where you describe the symptoms and it’s black and white. It takes time to find out what works. I just hope that everyone in a similar situation can find what works for them.
“Some days are worse than others, but I think I’m in a pretty good place on a day-today basis.”
Both Motte and Hirsch were asked about hockey and the role it plays in their condition. Professional sports, to put it mildly, is a high-stress environment. There is excruciating pressure to perform on a daily basis and it never relents. Could that contribute to their problem?
Turns out that’s another perception that needs changing.
“It’s definitely not hockey-specific,” Motte said. “There are many people on this planet who deal with this — some more severe, some less. But everyone is dealing with their own thing in their own way.”
That’s the way Hirsch sees it. “Mental health doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter if you’re a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher. Just because you’re a hockey player doesn’t make you more susceptible to mental-health issues. The numbers are one in five (Canadians who has a mental health problem). I guarantee you there are other players in there (nods toward the Canucks’ locker-room) who are going through the same thing.”
Hopefully, they will ask for help. Hopefully, everyone who suffers will seek help. It’s a long, hard road to travel. But they both will tell you it doesn’t have to be travelled alone.