Unhealthy nutrition early in life might mean problems later

Dear Amy: I am grandmother to two boys, ages one and three.

My daughter, who is slightly overweight, feeds them foods high in sugar, i.e. donuts, pancakes with syrup, muffins, etc., for breakfast. She provides dessert after every meal.

I have noticed that the boys are now requesting desserts, candy, etc., often during the day and while eating a meal. There is obesity in my and my son-in-law’s family.

Is there anything I can do/ say besides providing healthier choices when I am watching them (I watch them twice a week). — WORRIED GRANDMA

Dear Worried: You and your daughter are part-time partners in raising these young boys, and if you work together, you can establish good eating habits and patterns that will have a healthy impact on the whole family. With the family history of obesity that you relate, these children are vulnerable.

You should be understanding, respectful, and frank with your daughter concerning what you are seeing when the boys are with you. There are easy ways to reset eating habits with young children, by offering them healthy snacks, foods like hummus and yogurt to dip and slurp, fruit for “dessert,” and by having them “help” at meal time.

It is never too early (or late) to introduce healthier practices at home, but remember to never criticize their mother’s choices while the children are at your home.

A book you should consider having in your kitchen is, Raising a Healthy, Happy Eater: A Parent’s Handbook: A Stage-by-Stage Guide to Setting Your Child on the Path to Adventurous Eating, by Dr. Nimali Fernando and Melanie Potock (2015, The Experiment).

I am also a fan of The Berenstain Bears books. These fun, easy and colorful books gently convey important value-based lessons to children, and are perfect to share with a 3-year-old.

Your grandsons might enjoy The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food, by Stan and Jan Berenstain (1985, Random House). Look for it while you’re at your local library’s story time.

Dear Amy: I am a graduate student and a founding member (as well as an officer) of an on-campus club dedicated to social justice and activism.

This newly-formed club has earned us high praise and recognition by our department and by the neighboring community.

I am happy to be a part of something bigger than myself.

I am having serious issues with our club president’s superhero complex, however. She makes EVERYTHING about her ego and control, under the guise of doing so for everyone else’s benefit.

She shows little respect for the rest of us in the club, dominating conversations, ignoring other’s opinions, making decisions without putting it to a vote (which we agreed to do upon forming), and making us look foolish by undermining the rest of us publicly.

This group is about more than just her, and so I think I need to leave. I believe that others will probably follow me. I thought we could do some good work together.

I have spoken to others in the group and they all express feeling fed up.

How can we change the direction of this group? Or is it not worth the effort, since our president does not care what we have to say, anyway? — NO TIME FOR EGO TRIPS

Dear No Time: If you have a faculty adviser, this would be a good issue to run past that person. The first thing should be to make your voice heard within the organization, speaking out in a meeting and following up with specific concerns in writing, and asking for action.

If you can’t stage a semi-coup and legally force out this president, it might be best for you and your fellow activists to start a splinter group and strike out on your own. Consider it to be part of your learning experience, and redouble your effort to focus more clearly on your group’s stated mission. Your university should have guidelines concerning how to create organization bylaws. Moving forward, keep your bylaws simple and build in a clear chain of command, along with a specific term for officers, as well as an apparatus for discussing these challenges openly.

Dear Amy: I am 3 years, 11 months away from retiring. I am an attorney working full time for a company in a non-lawyer position, although my customer base is primarily lawyers (I was hired because I am a licensed attorney).

The job is very easy but low paying. The trade-offs were huge but it made sense to give up the money and go corporate.

The problem is that I have a very difficult time focusing on the job. I find the job and the environment boring and money is always a problem.

My husband is retired and I have always been the primary earner in our family. My children live on their own, but we contribute.

I was hoping you could point out some things I could do to be more focused and positive about my job. At my age (62) finding a better job is unrealistic. — WORK WEARY

Dear Weary: I’m sorry your job is boring ... but at least the pay is low, right?

You could approach this along two tracks. One is to take the financial pressure off by weaning your adult children from your financial support. Remember that it’s OK for them to struggle. You shouldn’t continue to shoulder their rightful adult burdens.

Secondly, you should see if you can transfer within your company to a job that might be more stimulating and commensurate with your skill set. This wouldn’t involve a lengthy external job search, and would notify your employers that you are eager for more stimulating work.

Also, pursue efforts outside of your job which would be stimulating and useful. You might explore becoming a volunteer legal adviser for children in the foster care system, for instance. This experience could be a game changer for you.