Body-shaming a problem that begins at birth
It is June now, so I have to ask: How is that beach body coming along?
You know what I mean. The body on which you cannot put a bikini or a strappy little tank top or those cute little shorts without someone judging how appropriate it is for your body type. So, is it ready? If it were up to me and me alone, your answer — no matter how big or small a person you are — would be “yes.” Yes, your beach body is ready. Yes, you will wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing without judgment from others about how appropriate or not it might be.
But we all know that cannot happen. It is no more up to me than it is up to any one of us individually to determine how we will or will not be judged for what we look like.
From the time we are born, we are inundated with ideas and images of what women’s bodies are supposed to look like. Don’t believe me? When my daughter was born almost 10 years ago, she weighed seven pounds and 13.5 ounces. The nurses told me that they would note her weight as 7lbs 13oz, because she is a girl. They told me that if the baby were a boy, they would round up instead.
Can you imagine that? My little girl was not even 10 minutes old and they were already adjusting how her weight would be recorded because half an ounce could be viewed negatively for a girl.
Do not be too thin. Do not be too muscular. Especially do not be too fat. You should definitely workout, but not too much, and don’t lift the heavy weights, because then you will be bulky and look like a man. Do you wear makeup? You should. Not too much though. Tone it down or you are trying too hard. We are very much always encouraged to pursue the Goldilocks “just right” version of body size, clothing, cosmetics, and so on.
Society – typically through the media – tells us what is and is not acceptable for how we present ourselves to the world. Without even being conscious of it, we are constantly judging the acceptability of people’s appearances. And if you respond to someone’s “she’s too fat to be wearing that” with an “as long as she feels good in it, what does it matter?” you are sure to be looked at like you have two heads.
Really, though, what does it matter what she is wearing? How does it impact you or anyone else?
If she is comfortable in what she is wearing; if she feels good about herself, then who are you to judge the appropriateness?
Let us not forget that while it is far less frequent, men are subjected to body shaming as well. So what if you would rather not see that super skinny guy without his t-shirt or the fat man either?
How do we combat this rampant body policing? I think the first step is to acknowledge that we are all guilty of it to varying degrees. Recognize where it comes from. Then, just like I would ask you to address racism and sexism when you hear it, I would ask you to address body policing. Tell people you do not appreciate their comments about other people’s bodies and choices of attire. The more you stand up to it, the more likely it is to stop.
And we will all live happily ever after wearing whatever we want whenever and wherever we want. Imagine how happy and comfortable we will all be. Laura Ip is an active community advocate, founder and board member of Underdogs Boxing Club, board member of Niagara Podcasters’ Network, and blogger and podcast co-host of The Practical Feminist. Laura can be reached by e-mail at lauraip@cogeco.net.