Sister’s excuse needs some Streep behind it

ASK AMY

I am very close with my oldest sister. Her daughter is planning to marry a woman many years younger than she.

I don’t believe in same-sex weddings, nor do I have any desire to attend this wedding. My children feel the same way. The wedding is out of town, with many expenses involved.

I hate to travel and have many obligations in town, including owning my own business.

Amy, my sister is not taking “No” for an answer!

How do I get out of this wedding without creating a rift in our relationship? — WANT TO STAY PEACEFUL

I gather that you have already offered up all of your various excuses, and so now all you have left is the truth: You don’t want to go to this wedding because you refuse to attend a same-sex wedding ceremony.

And so first, a public service announcement about excuses: When you make one, you really need to commit to it. Lean in! Think Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman, or Meryl Streep in, well, anything.

Because you seem to be throwing various excuses at the wall in hopes that one will stick, I’m concluding — and your sister will, too — that you are flailing around, trying to obscure your own truth, which is that you hold a particular prejudice, but you seem too embarrassed to own it.

Because this is your truth, and because your beloved sister’s truth is that she loves and accepts her daughter, there is no way you can get out of this wedding without creating a rift.

You can only hope that your sister is more tolerant of your truth than you are of hers, and that she will forgive you.