Civil debate seems to have been lost
Some of the most interesting conversations I have are with people with whom I fundamentally disagree on a topic.
People who disagree with me — as an anti-racist, vegan and feminist who is vehemently prochoice — are significant in their numbers.
Let me tell you what I value, though, about those conversations. It is the very ability to disagree, to discuss something at length, to learn and understand another person’s point of view, and to walk away from the discussion still friends.
Civil debate appears to have been lost lately.
The divide between the left and the right is growing. The centre seems to have all but disappeared. When someone makes a statement with which we fundamentally disagree, we turn to hate-filled retorts rather than trying to explore in what their ideas are rooted.
Honestly, I would much prefer that people were not racist, that I did not ever have to discuss the worth or contribution of brown and black people in comparison to white people, and not just because I am mom to children who are not white.
I wish that there were not discussions about whether or not women are as capable in all facets of life as are men, that people understood that misogyny and sexism are as systemic as is racism and all of these things need to be resolved and quickly by achieving social, political and economic equality.
I believe the world would be a better place if all people understood the importance of bodily autonomy and women’s right to be in control of their desire (or not) to reproduce, that everyone realized that reproductive rights are a health-care issue and not a political issue.
However, that is not yet the world in which we live.
At the same time, we are never going to achieve those things if we are not willing and able to have civil and informed discussions about these issues.
Can the conversations be frustrating? Absolutely. Are they necessary? Without a doubt.
When I have taken the time to sit down and really discuss any of these issues with someone who does not agree with me, I have learned from them. And let us be honest here. What I have learned from them is not just what their position is and why they hold it, but I have also learned from them how I might get them to come around to see my point of view.
If I did not take the time to listen and instead I shut down the conversation and them as ignorant or racist or sexist, I would have gotten no further ahead in my efforts to create the world in which I want my children and myself to live.
Free speech, of course, does not mean consequence-free speech, but you cannot be in favour of free speech if you are only in favour of speech with which you agree.
I have brought more people around to understanding anti-racism, feminism, the importance of reproductive rights, and my choice to not consume animals by having conversations with them by sharing my stories and experiences with them, by hearing them out and addressing their beliefs and opinions in a civil manner than I ever could if I just wrote them off as ignorant and went about my day.
Again, do I wish I did not have to have these types of conversations at all? Of course I do, but until we come to that day, we must try to engage civilly and respectfully to find a middle ground.