Where is Ben Trommels?
A trip to a local store last week quickly turned to heartache for Monique Smith.
A poster requesting information on her missing son — which had been in the window of the business for almost two years — was no longer on display.
She was told the flyer had been taken down because Ben Trommels had been found.
Nothing can be further from the truth.
“That makes me a bit sad that people do not have the correct information,” she said.
Twenty-fouryear-old Trommels vanished without a trace Feb. 11, 2016, after leaving his apartment in the north end of Niagara Falls.
He left with no ID and no money. Trommels, who struggles with mental health issues, often told his mother if he ever took his own life, she’d never find him.
“In my heart I feel that Ben is no longer with us,” Smith said. “I am OK if he is at peace but I need him found so I can be at peace.”
Smith will be distributing new missing flyers across the city in the coming days to mark the second anniversary of her son’s disappearance.
“I really felt Ben would have been found within a year,” she said.
“Now that the second year is upon me, I feel as if he will never be found. Most mornings I wake up shaking my head in disbelief that this nightmare has actually happened. How does someone go missing and no one knows anything?”
She hopes the posters will lead to new information on what happened to her son.
“Please keep Ben in your hearts and minds,” she said. “When taking a hike, or driving, please be on the look out for his winter coat and black runners. I need my boy brought back home.”
Several hundred people came together in spring 2016 to search Fireman’s Park, but to no avail.
Volunteers distributed flyers in the Casey Street and Dorchester Road area and Niagara Parks Police searched the Niagara Gorge.
No trace of the young man has ever been found.
Living with ambiguous loss, Smith said, is torture.
“Every day I wake up and it’s the same grief,” he explained.
“I wish I would have had a chance to say goodbye. Ambiguous loss doesn’t allow for a final good bye.”
Ambiguous loss leaves a person searching for answers as they try to live with unresolved grief.
“This new life is so sad. As a parent, it is my job to protect my son and knowing he is out there alone hurts my heart.”
Meanwhile, Niagara Regional Police have closed the investigation into Trommels’ disappearance pending further information.
“We have been unable to locate (him) but we have not found any indication of foul play in his disappearance,” said police spokesperson Stephanie Sabourin.
Anyone with information can call police at 905-688-4111 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS.
Trommels is described as 5-foot7 to 5-foot-8 tall, about 170 pounds, with a dark olive complexion, hazelcoloured eyes and a shaved head. He also has a scar over his left eyebrow.
He was last seen wearing blue jeans, a black bomber-style jacket with a fur-trimmed hood, a blue zip hoody, pink ear bud headphones and black running shoes.