What about disabled women and sexual assault?
With all the talk from prominent women in the media about sexual assault and the #MeToo movement, I wondered what happens when a woman with a disability is sexually assaulted. Where can she turn? Where is her support system?
We all know that violence against women is common but when you put violence against women and disability together you get a tsunami of risk.
According to the Disabled Women’s Network (DAWNCanada.net), women with disabilities experience a wider range of emotional, physical and sexual abuse by personal attendants and health-care providers, as well as higher rates of emotional abuse by strangers and family members.
And, a study determined that women with disabilities are four times more likely to have experienced a sexual assault than women without disabilities.
Some of the stereotypes regarding women with disabilities that still exist today are:
• You are disabled, therefore you should be grateful that someone wants to have sex with you or wants to touch you in a sexual way, whether you want them to or not;
• If you tell anybody that you have been touched in a way that makes you uncomfortable, no one will believe you;
• You don’t have the intelligence to know that what is happening to you is wrong.
• And, you are disabled so I can do anything I want to you and you can’t do anything about it.
And then there are people with disabilities who are dependent and at the mercy of their caregivers. For instance, if you are fondled by a caregiver bathing you, you have to decide that, if reported, would the person be charged and dismissed or would it mean that you will never have a bath again, be marked a complainer and denied care.
In our society, it is a toss-up. Most caregivers are kind, respectful people; some are not.
If you are or aren’t disabled, male or female, and respect an individual’s rights to control what happens to their person, you can see why this topic can be upsetting for so many.
I spoke to Stella Bird, a registered psychotherapist with the Niagara Sexual Assault Centre (CARSA) 905-682-7258. It has a 24-hour crisis line (905-6824584) and also counsels men and women in individual and group sessions in Niagara Falls, Port Colborne, Fort Erie, Welland and St. Catharines. I asked if it hears from sexually assaulted disabled women. She said yes.
“Family caregivers can’t be there all the time, they work, go to school. If the person is alone and receiving care from outside, the family member needs to ask the disabled person if they’re getting what they need, if everything is OK with their caregiver. They need to let the disabled person know that they are open to dialogue about care-giving, want to help, can be trusted and will take concerns seriously and act on them.”
Betty Miller, of Guardian Angels, which has been actively scrutinizing nursing homes for 14 years, said, “If people can’t speak for themselves, unless a staff member is aware of abuse, there’s nothing the person being violated can do. It’s a place where nobody wants to be.”
Patricia R., an advocacy counsellor with Niagara Centre for Independent Living, said, “Women with disabilities are at the mercy of their abuser. I don’t want to say all women because some women are strong enough to speak out, but I have heard from some who are definitely not.”
Angela Browne, a local paralegal, said people are discouraged from going to police because we have an adversarial system that can be traumatizing to a sexual assault victim. She suggested that anyone thinking of reporting assault take someone trustworthy who can corroborate the event.
Also, the criminal compensation board can recognize a person’s violation without the perpetrator having been convicted, awarding up to $25,000 plus counselling services. The award doesn’t count against Ontario disability support payments. Scant retribution for a criminal act a woman has to live with for the rest of her life, but it’s something.
We can’t live in fear, we have to speak out, but there has to be an ear to hear us. Right now, there aren’t many listening. #MeToo means #UsToo.