‘It was a huge weight controlling my life’
Gwen Towne, 16, talks about mental health and anxiety to make it easier for others to get help
In the back seat of the car, a three-yearold screams. She is crying hysterically, worried for reasons unknown that she is going to be a bad mother.
Another time, as a preschooler,
Gwen Towne was so distressed that her father would lose his job and her family wouldn’t have enough food to eat, that she couldn’t sleep at night. She sobbed inconsolably, despite her parents’ efforts to comfort her.
Eventually, cried out and exhausted, she fell to sleep.
And the odd part was, her father was not in danger of losing his job. Not even close.
“It lasted a couple weeks, and then something else took its place,” says her mother, Andrea Towne.
She was kindergarten age when she watched a cartoon about a child being left in a store overnight. That triggered worry so overwhelming that when she was taken into a store, she’d cry hysterically and frantically pull her mom’s hand to leave.
She worried that someone would break into their house at night.
“She couldn’t stop the thoughts from coming,” says Andrea.
And yet, as bizarre as her behaviour might sound, her parents, conditioned to her demeanour, never considered that Gwen could be living with a diagnosable condition. To them, she was sensitive. Emotional. Temperamental.
“I was so used to it I didn’t recognize it as anxiety,” says Andrea.
Gwen has since been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, socialized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. She has survived many challenges in life. She’s been bullied. She turned to cutting her wrists to relieve emotional pain with physical pain. She’s attempted suicide.
Gwen has worked hard to get better. And with the help of medication and therapies to change her thought patterns, she is in control of anxiety. A straight-A student in Grade 11, the St. Catharines teen wants to study neuroscience at Brock University, then attend medical school at McMaster to become a psychiatrist.
And at 16-year-old, she has also become an outspoken advocate for mental health.
She spoke to professionals at Pathstone Mental Health during Children’s Mental Health week. She volunteers on the youth advisory committee of Niagara Public Health and works in the bakery of a local grocery store.
She is determined not to be silent. “I want people to know that even though you may have a mental health issue, it shouldn’t affect the way people look at you,” she says.
“I’m a normal person.”
More kids in Ontario are seeking treatment for anxiety than ever before.
That according to a 2017 report card published by Children’s Mental Health Ontario, an association representing Ontario’s publicly-funded child and youth mental health centres.
Among its findings:
• Six in 10 youth have concerns about their level of anxiety.
• Almost half of youth have missed school due to anxiety.
• Four in 10 have sought mental health services for their anxiety.
• One in every four parents have missed work to care for a child experiencing issues related to anxiety.
The problem is, while experts agree that early intervention is crucial to a good outcome, long wait lists across the province are preventing quick access to services, says Kim Moran, the organization’s CEO.
While Niagara is better than most, youth in some communities are waiting 18 months or not getting help at all.
The delay exacerbates their anxiety, then eventually triggers an ER visit and hospital admission because families have no other alternative, says Moran, who also has a daughter who lives with anxiety.
In a decade, hospital emergency visits in Ontario for youth ages five to 24 years dealing with anxiety increased by more than 70 per cent, and hospital admissions by nearly 80 per cent.
“We need to get kids help as soon as they need it,” she says.
A few years ago, even Pathstone Mental Health, a nonprofit agency that provides mental health services to children from birth to 18 years and their families in Niagara, had longer wait times for services — six to 18 months, says CEO Shaun Baylis.
“Our system has been so reactionary,” he says. “We never got up to early intervention.”
However, in the past years Pathstone has implemented several strategies and programs to improve access to care. These days, some 80 per cent of its programs have no wait time, while the wait is about three months for the remaining 20 per cent, he says.
Earlier this year, a walk-in clinic opened three days a week for youth ages six to 17. No appointment, fee or health card is required. They simply walk in and receive one-on-one counselling with a therapist. Parents can also come by themselves.
Every day, six to 10 youth or parents use the walk in clinic, says Baylis.
Pathstone is working with other agencies including Niagara Regional Police, Niagara Emergency Medical Services, Canadian Mental Health Association and Niagara Health to develop criteria for knowing when to take youth to the walk-in instead of a hospital emergency room.
It’s also working with the school boards, whose teachers and social workers are on the front line of identifying kids in need of counselling, to
refer them to Pathstone.
It’s been shown that about 30 per cent of youth who come to a walk-in mental health clinic only need one session, says Baylis.
That means those kids not only get help quickly, but they stay out of the “major” system, leaving those services available for youth who need more intense treatment.
His ultimate vision is to move beyond early intervention, toward prevention, he says.
Some 7,000 children and youth are seen at Pathstone every year. It’s a number that has been increasing over the last three years, by roughly 20 per cent each year, he says.
Education, social media campaigns and individual people speaking openly about their experiences with mental health challenges, has reduced the stigma and made the conversation more comfortable. And that has meant more people asking for help and more kids being identified early.
He also believes the prevalence of anxious kids is increasing, too.
It’s a complicated issue, but one that grows from a lifestyle of structured play, performances pressures at school and in sports, an increased fearfulness for things kids once did without worry such as playing at the park, coupled with an extreme connection to technology without the balance and calming effects of being outdoors, in nature.
Add to that kids witnessing more traumas, domestic violence and bullying and the overall levels of anxiety will increase, he says. Anxiety is a feeling of worry or unease. When the level of anxiety increases to the point of affecting a child’s everyday activities, it becomes a disorder that may require treatment.
According to the Offord Centre for Child Studies, a person’s genetic makeup plays a role in causing anxiety, as does the environment at home, the neighbourhood, and school.
Consider Gwen’s description of anxiety: a filing cabinet with all the papers loose and flying around.
She’s often told her mom: “You don’t understand mom. It won’t stop. I can’t catch them. I can’t put them all away.”
Anxiety feels chaotic and disorganized.
With mindfulness — focusing on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings and thoughts — and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) — a technique used to reframe negative thinking patterns into positive thoughts — she is able to bring order to her filing cabinet.
“It’s how you put all the paper back in place,” she says.
And yet, the path to wellness was not always smooth.
One morning at school when she was 12 years old, she couldn’t step through the door to her classroom. She had forced herself to school because she worried if she stayed home, kids would talk about her.
In the doorway, she was overcome by anxiety. Her heart raced. Her hands tingled. And she felt dizzy. She retreated to a bathroom, locked herself in a stall and cut her wrists with a math compass. Her mother later counted 22 lines.
When someone heard her crying, she ended up in the principal’s office where she disclosed her suicide plan. She eventually ended up at McMaster Children’s Hospital where she was put on medication and continued with behaviour therapies.
In high school, more bullying led to a suicide attempt. She got scared and called 911 herself. She returned to McMaster hospital and slowly, through medication and a concerted effort to practice therapies, she has arrived at a place of peace in her life.
“It was a huge weight that was controlling my life,” she says. “Now I know I can control it. “At night in bed she falls to sleep listening to music. “Music replaces my thoughts,” she says.
When she feels her thoughts begin to run away, she pulls them back in. She will always live with anxiety, but now she’s in control. Talking about her journey is part of her recovery.
“When you have so many thoughts in your head, talking is a big release.”
Mom Andrea encourages conversation.
“A lot of people feel alone. They feel there is no help, no hope,” she says. “We want to show them that there is. This has been a lifelong struggle for her and look at her now.”
“I’m so proud of her.”