Adult kids living at home has doubled since 1980, new book offers advice
“Failure to Launch” is the name of a new book with the intriguing subtitle “Why Your Twentysomething Hasn’t Grown Up ... and What to Do About It.”
Parents live in hope that their adult children will be actual adults, making their own way and moving out of the house in a timely manner. But what if that child is thirtysomething and royal? Prince Harry and Meghan Markle aren’t exactly your typical adult children clinging to their parents’ apron strings, but they’ve announced that they’re stepping back from front line royal duties and looking for a more independent route. That silver spoon in Harry’s mouth will probably be tough to fully dislodge, though.
But maybe your unmovable progeny is a 32-year-old Emmy-nominated actor?
Michael B. Jordan, though, seems a little more typical. He loves his mom’s cooking, and that’s why, though he’s finally moved out of his parents house, it’s just a short distance away. “You know ... Sunday dinner. Mom and dad, they cook,” he said on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.” A big batch of his mom’s delicious mac and cheese is a powerful magnet.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, one in five men ages 25-34 lived in their parents’ home in 2019. That compares to 13.1 per cent of women that age living at home.
In all, there are 4.6 million men and 2.9 million women ages 25-34 living with their parents, for a total of 7.5 million still living at home, more than double the number living at home in 1980.
Most of those with a case of arrested development are in an entirely different world. It’s almost like the real one that most of us live in, where we have to earn our own living, but not quite. They just never grew up, according to “Failure to Launch” author and clinical psychologist Mark McConville.
“They perpetuate so many of the patterns we associate with adolescents — relying on adult oversight and management even while complaining about it,” he told the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s Gracie Bonds Staples in a recent interview, “neglecting the sorts of mundane administrative responsibilities required to keep an adult life on track, failing to take ownership and initiative in preparing for their future.”
“Everyone wants to support their children; nobody wants to enable them,” McConville said, and his book offers tips for striking the right balance, even providing goals for both children and their parents.