Some colour commentary on sports and alcohol

All right. Batter up. (Cue Meatloaf, radio broadcast from “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.”)

We got a real pressure cooker going here …There’s the wind-up … look at him go … he’s rounding first and really turning it on now…

First, I was excited to see Joan Butler’s “View from C.B.S.” article enhance the discussion on the advertising of unhealthy substances. Of course, nobody is being pulled over after eating a dozen Timbits, nor, as an esteemed colleague said, are the police being called to George Street to break up a fight after a few too many pop.

And Tim Hortons and McDonald’s have responded to public pressure and do offer some reasonable choices. Beware caffeine and trans-fatty acids, is my view.

He’s gonna try for second … Here he comes, he’s out! No, wait, safe, safe at second base.… This kid really makes things happen out there …

Second, two partners of Sport NL, The Telegram and CBC, recently worked in concert to deflect away from the issue of beer advertising. Robin Short’s front page Sport Scene article with the toned down headline “What’s Really Up, Gerry?” was surprising. Mostly I felt empathy for the youth involved. It’s no fun to not win, or not make the team. (Never mind the adults, kid! They are just arguing over beer! Never, never give up!)

However, when CBC’s Jonathan Crowe and political correspondent David Cochrane chimed in on the news the same day the article was released, it was an obvious one-two punch from the old boys’ club, bromancers watching each other’s backs. Conspiracy theories, boys? It took you a month to come up with this?

He’s trying for third … Here’s the throw … It’s in the dirt, safe at third! Holy cow, stolen base! The suicide squeeze is on …

Third, deflection is a fairly transparent game plan. I’m just gonna copy and repeat what I submitted a month ago, just to put y’all back on topic, and in case you didn’t catch it the first time … heads up!

“Why not let all alcohol advertising be subjected to the same fate as tobacco advertising? Put warning labels on cases of beer and pictures of destroyed internal organs on bottles of rum. Hide it from plain sight. It’s a legally controlled substance, so perhaps the time has come to control it … And please, don’t be the moron who suggests we need more studies.”

And Mr. Short, you’re right about Old Sam and Marble Mountain. There should be uniform rules for all alco- hol. It’s a poison, you see. As soon as it enters your body, your body’s first priority is to detoxify it, because it’s lethal.

With great deference to the child who recently died of alcohol poisoning here in C.B.S., I’ve heard some adults say he just didn’t know how to drink. Oh, my. Which citizen, in this modern day, wants to teach 14-yearolds how to drink?

Here’s the throw, here’s the play at the plate … Holy cow! I think he’s gonna make it. … Don’t stop.

Finally, a sound bite from the cancer community on a radio station stated that 27 per cent of Newfoundlanders are heavy drinkers. Holy schmoly! And Newfoundland at the bottom of the heap with regards to health according to CBC news? It’s embarrassing.

Minister Kent, you made comments about everyone here being affected by alcoholism somehow, so how about restricting the advertising of alcohol, and let warning labels facilitate education? Where is the Department of Mental Health and Addictions on this irresistible topic?

Everyone knows what’s happening during the Meatloaf song, right? Cindy Styles C.B.S.