Emotional impact
Brian Hodder: When it happened, I got this sick feeling in my stomach and had a number of unpleasant questions run through my head. Should I say something back? Is it safe? Am I about to get my face punched in?
In the English language, many words have more than one meaning, and the choice of which words we use when communicating can have a strong emotional impact on those to whom these words are directed.
If you were to look up the word “faggot” in a dictionary, you would come across two main definitions: a bundle of sticks used as fuel for a fire, or an offensive, derogatory term for male homosexuals. The first definition is archaic and is rarely used today, while the second is sadly still used and has become a slur that is hurled with negative feelings towards males, whether that male is homosexual or not. As we progress as a society, use of this word is becoming socially unacceptable, and I hope that it eventually fades out of usage, as did the prior meaning of the word.
During a baseball game against the Atlanta Braves last Wednesday night, Toronto Blue Jay star Kevin Pillar yelled this word at an opposing pitcher after striking out. His words almost started a fire as players from both sides reacted to the situation, but cooler heads prevailed and a fight was averted. In the aftermath of the game, Pillar subsequently apologized to his opponent, teammates and members of the LGBTQ community for using this term and acknowledged that there is no place in the game for its use. The Blue Jays suspended him without pay for two games — before Major League Baseball could act to determine a punishment — and he has also agreed to make a donation to a charity. The team has said that they will reach out to the local LGBTQ community to see how this unfortunate incident can be used to further educate people about this issue.
Some people may feel that this is an overreaction to a player letting out his frustration after failing to perform as expected, and punishing him for blowing off some steam. While he may not have intended any harm, the choice of word he used is hurtful and it should not be ignored or explained away. I know this to be true, because while it hasn’t happened in recent years, I have had this word yelled at me in the past while walking around the lake. When it happened, I got this sick feeling in my stomach and had a number of unpleasant questions run through my head. Should I say something back? Is it safe? Am I about to get my face punched in? I chose to pretend I didn’t hear it and walked away. but I couldn’t walk away from the feeling of fear that stayed with me until I was safely home. Afterwards, it made me angry that I should have to experience such negativity just for walking around the lake minding my own business, and I resolved that I would find my own way to respond to this behaviour.
When it happened, I got this sick feeling in my stomach and had a number of unpleasant questions run through my head. Should I say something back? Is it safe? Am I about to get my face punched in?
I chose to use this incident as a motivator to educate others about the impact of homophobia and to hopefully bring about some change. I was fortunate that this paper gave me a venue in which to publicly talk about the various issues that were impacting my community and I have since been able to expand my scope to a wide variety of social issues I have dealt with in my work life. Rather than outright condemning a person for a certain behaviour, it is much more constructive to use these incidents as teaching tools to try to educate and bring about positive change.
Kudos to the Blue Jays, as this is the route they have chosen to take with this incident; there was a real consequence for the act but an opportunity for the player to make recompense and engage the community in moving forward. Pillar should be given the opportunity to show that this incident was an aberration and not an indicator of his true character; if we just outright condemn him as a homophobe, this chance is lost and we get caught in a series of recriminations, which helps no one.
Brian Hodder is an LGBTQ activist and works in the field of mental health and addictions. He can be reached at bdhodder@hotmail.com