Cheers & Jeers
Cheers: to tedium. The Associated Press reports that Dull, Scotland and Boring, Oregon, are welcoming Bland Shire, Australia into their club — the League of Extraordinary Communities. Dennis Melloy, provost of the Perth and Kinross region of Scotland where Dull is located, said there’s always room for more. “We’ve found Ordinary and Dreary, both in America,” he said, “and I think they could soon be part of it all.” Might we suggest Low Point, Bald Nap and Port Blandford, all in Newfoundland?
Jeers: to unnecessary fights. Business mogul Harry Steele has reached a compromise with the government after launching a lawsuit trying to block a new turnoff being created in Gander that would’ve had vehicles’ headlights shining right into his home’s front window. Steele can afford legal wrangles, but that’s not the point. Plenty of people can’t, and citizens should not have to take legal action to challenge problematic roadwork by the Department of Transportation and Works. We need a Ministry of Common Sense.
Jeers: to poll-itics. The provincial Progressive Conservatives are enjoying an uptick in popularity, according to a recent poll which puts them at 48 per cent support compared to the Liberals at 35 per cent and the NDP at 16 per cent. Outgoing Tory Leader Paul Davis sees it as a sign that his party is doing things right. “We’ve worked hard to earn back the support of Newfoundlanders and Labradorians,” he said. “We’ve been working hard to bring forward the issues and concerns that people are expressing to us.” (Dare we ask, “Such as?”) But there could be other factors at work, including an unpopular government and voters’ short memories. Never forget, Mr. Davis, t’was your crowd that put the Muskrat Falls yoke around our necks.
Cheers: to American politics being as good as a concert. It might be hilarious if it wasn’t happening in what is still arguably the most powerful country on earth. The Donald Trump/anthony Scaramucci sideshow kicked into high gear last week, with the “communications” director cursing like a longshoreman in an interview with The New Yorker. In an interview with CNN, Scaramucci made this perplexing piscine statement: “The fish stinks from the head down,” he said. “I can tell you two fish that don’t stink, and that’s me and the president.” So who’s the head? And pass the popcorn.
Jeers: to naked ambition. In a bizarre attempt to kickstart a career in comedy, Florida police say 25-year-old Alexander Sperber “robbed a bank, stripped naked and ran down the street throwing stolen money.” He was arrested and charged with bank robbery. Guess the laugh’s on him.