Flu vs. Man Cold
“I have a bit of a head cold/a head cold/a bad head cold,” said a man I know. Never.
Don’t go on at me about male bashing; everybody knows about man colds. Huge conglomerates have spent millions of dollars on advertising their cold relief products using the “man cold” as a hook.
But, guess what? In my never-ending determination to embrace senior years, I have found another silver lining; I can have a man cold. I woke up Monday morning with a stogged yet runny nose, itchy eyes, sneezing, no energy — you know, a head cold. I felt miserable and had no responsibilities so I more or less spent the day in the recliner, going through a box of tissues. I admit I moaned about it a bit and then, at some point during the day, it dawned on me that I was having a man cold. The only difference was that I didn’t have a wife to soothe me and bring me medicine and make me soup.
I don’t get colds very often. I can’t remember the last time I had a cold, but whenever it was, I’m sure that for some reason
or other, I didn’t sit around and suffer it out. I would have remembered such a milestone. I may have had a deadline to meet or appointments to go to or commitments to fulfil, whatever, but I’m sure I didn’t a young family to look after because mothers do not have time to be sick.
Imagine not changing or feeding or bathing the baby, not getting the kids off to school, not buying groceries or getting meals, missing their dental appointments or parent teacher nights because you have a cold. Imagine sending them off to Brownies with their uniform not ironed or cancelling a birthday party because you have a cold.
In my experience (sounds better than “in my day’) only children had colds. Mothers didn’t have time to have colds and husbands had “the flu,” which now some brilliant woman in advertising has now identified as the man cold.
Former ’Usband never had a
head cold in his life. He had “the flu.” I’m not singling him out. I still have men in my family who have “the flu” every time they get a runny nose. In fairness, Newman is not one of them. Newman goes to the other extreme. Newman would be lying on the floor gasping for breath, bleeding from his ears and still insist there was nothing wrong with him, which when you think about it is much worse than moaning on about a head cold.
So, here are the facts, according to Dr. Google; a runny or stuffy nose, sore throat, even a mild fever or a cough are symptoms of a common cold. You might feel miserable but these symptoms are much less severe than if you have the flu. Flu fevers are higher and last longer, plus the flu can affect your entire body, not just your respiratory system, with fatigue, headaches, severe muscle aches, shaking chills, sometimes nausea or vomiting and, along with much the more
severe symptoms than a cold, the flu lasts a lot longer. You can usually expect to be rid of your cold after a week, but the flu can leave you knocked out for up to three weeks, and can lead to more severe illnesses, such as pneumonia or sinusitis. That’s why they have flu shots and not cold shots.
Conventional wisdom says stay home if you have flu-like symptoms. I don’t have the flu, and today I feel like going out. I won’t because I’m still sniffling and sneezing and I don’t want people looking at me like I’m Typhoid Mary. I have squeaked under the deadline with this column. The house is up to your eyes with boxes and stuff we brought back from Eastport on the weekend, and I am up to tackling some of it. I couldn’t stand more than two days of a man cold. Now I just have a cold.
I’ve had my flu shot.
In my experience (sounds better than “in my day’) only children had colds. Mothers didn’t have time to have colds and husbands had ‘the flu,’ which now some brilliant woman in advertising has now identified as the man cold.