People don’t talk about endometriosis
Paradise woman says if more people understood illness, they’d realize how debilitating it can be
Amanda Thornhill has wanted to be a mom for as long as she can remember, but after a long and painful battle with endometriosis, she found herself wondering if it was really meant to be.
Endometriosis occurs when the lining of a woman’s uterus, or womb, grows on other organs inside the body.
It is difficult to diagnose, extremely painful and often debilitating for those who suffer from it. It can affect all aspects of a woman’s life.
Thornhill, 33, has suffered from endometriosis since before she even knew what that term meant. She recalls being on the bus to school fighting nausea, trying not throw up, and focusing on not passing out.
“No one ever suggested any kind of procedure to determine if it was endometriosis,” said Thornhill, who lives with her fiancé in Paradise. “I suffered every month for 15 years until I tried to get pregnant, and was finally diagnosed with Stage 3 endometriosis.”
According to the Endometriosis Network of Canada, endometriosis affects more than 176 million women worldwide — 2.76 per cent of the female population.
And one in 10 women experience disabling menstrual cycles once a month.
“I went through a lot of jobs because of the judgment associated with endometriosis — it’s chronic pain — and every single month I would miss at least one day of work because of it,” said Thornhill. “I remember getting my schedule hoping I would be off at least one or two days around my period so I wouldn’t have to be calling in sick.”
At times, Thornhill said, it seemed like her whole life had to be scheduled around her next period. She felt judgment from co-workers, friends and other women for calling in sick and cancelling plans, and even changed jobs because of issues related to the illness.
It’s not just her battle though — it affects family and friends, as well.
Thornhill’s fiancé, Cohen Dunne, says it’s something he has become accustomed to after 13 years together.
“When we first started getting together, I remember thinking it was a really serious thing,” said Dunne. “I guess now it’s just become a part of our everyday life and you just have to work around it.” At least two or three days a month Thornhill experiences such intense pain that she is unable to do the most basic tasks, Dunne said. It has become their new normal.
“It’s not easy seeing her in so much pain that she can’t get up, can’t get out of bed, can’t go out to do whatever we were planning that day,” said Dunne. “There’s the physical effect, but also the mental aspect of not being able to do the things you wanted to do, or even enjoy the things you do.”
In 2012, after trying for several months to get pregnant, Thornhill suffered an ectopic pregnancy, which eventually led to a fallopian tube bursting and almost costing her life.
“I ended up in hospital, getting surgery and multiple blood transfusions,” said Thornhill, recalling how she flatlined several times before waking up and asking the nearest nurse if “this was real life.”
Thornhill and Dunne tried in vain for years afterward to have a child, seeing doctors and following a fertility treatment in hopes Thornhill would conceive. With already slim chances from the Stage 3 endometriosis, the loss of one of her fallopian tubes had cut her odds in half.
“When I was younger, I never ever planned to be like a teacher or a lawyer. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom,” said Thornhill.
The treatments and strict schedule they had to follow did nothing but cause anxiety.
“So, after we did the fertility for a few years, we gave up, “said Thornhill. “It was too much pressure … always building up hope and hoping you’re going to be pregnant and you just never are.”
Eventually, they decided they weren’t meant to have children in their lives.
“It was a hard realization, but at the same time it was a relief, because we didn’t have to focus on starting a family anymore,” she said.
Three months after stopping fertility treatments, Thornhill found herself staring at a little blue plus sign, much to her shock.
“I couldn’t even breathe, I couldn’t call anyone, all I could do was cry,” said Thornhill. “I still have the test actually, in a little baggie.”
Nine months later, on Valentine’s Day 2016, she gave birth to a healthy six-pound, 13-ounce baby boy named Roman.
“Looking back on it, I would do it all again in a heartbeat for him,” said Thornhill, “and I want to do it all again. My chances are pretty slim, but then again, they were pretty slim the first time.”
Today, Thornhill is a stay-at home mom working to launch her own business selling hand-crafted fabric flowers — Baba’s Bouquet. It’s something she is interested in for many reasons, one of them being the flexibility being her own boss will offer her.
Especially during rough times of the month.