Wordy old advertising
It’s hard to believe that anyone would read a 165-word mini-essay on how a particular plumbing firm was probably the best in its field. Surely you would have to be seriously lacking in reading material. But long-winded, tedious accounts of superior service, unassailable ethics and complete knowledge of the subject were, in truth, popular with advertisers in days gone by.
This must be a case of “if I’m impressed with this, everyone else will be.” It’s not easy to sit down in front of a 200-word paragraph about yourself, pick up your pen and proceed to edit it down to, say, 50 words or less. “It all sounds wonderful! Let’s print it!”
In a magazine published just over 80 years ago, I spotted an ad for Albert Field Plumbing & Heating. Back then, Field operated a complete plumbing service from his premises at the corner of Carter’s Hill and Murray Street, St. John’s. Here is that glowing text:
‘A lesson in plumbing’
“Mr. Albert E. Field, the plumber, is one example of the rapidity with which a faithful, honest worker can go ahead provided that he has ability in his line and is always actuated by the abiding idea that he must do his work well and at fair and reasonable prices. He began as an apprentice with Mr. J.H. Lakin, King’s Road, to learn the trade of plumbing in 1921 and, before leaving, worked up to the position of assistant to the proprietor of that shop.
“In 1933 he started for himself with only one employed as
helper. Today he is employing five hands.”
Now, let me interrupt the sermon to say that the foregoing sentence was worth including as Field, a scant three years after he started out on his own, had a team of five. So he knew he was doing things right. To continue:
“A slip-shod plumber, an unreliable plumber, a ‘lick and a promise’ plumber can’t do that. A plumber who brings only some of his tools, goes back for the rest and charges for his time or does any trick or shoddy work and charges exorbitant prices, will never want five new hands to attend to custom calls. Because Mr. Field is conscientious and does none of those things, he is one of the busiest men in his trade today. It pays to be honest, faithful and conscientious.”
The text occupies a goodly portion of the ad space, the remainder bears an illustration of a tap spewing water with a slogan (all rather like a coat of arms) saying, “Running Water. Your family deserves it.”
You don’t have to go back as far as 80-plus years ago to see those “essay ads.” In 1955 Gerald S. Doyle was still using them — then again, information on patent medicines and what they could do for you, make good reading, at least better than reading about honesty in plumbing. Here is the text of one of Doyle’s ads:
“If sore, aching finger joints make it hard to do your knitting, if painful rheumatic twinges keep you from doing your darning and mending, here is good news. Thousands of Canadians, men as well as women have found in Templeton’s T-R-C’S the relief for which they have longed. Because for over 30 years T-R-C’S have helped case after case of rheumatic suffering, they are Canada’s largest-selling proprietary medicine for quick relief of rheumatic, arthritic, neuritic and sciatic pain; lumbago and lame back. Don’t suffer needlessly. Try T-R-C’S today.”
I don’t think you can buy TR-C’S today. Well, I don’t know that we suffer all those various “’tic” conditions today, do we? And wouldn’t you say those complaints afflicted outport areas more than urban centres? Doyle was favourably known all around coastal Newfoundland, for his sponsored radio newscasts as well as his panoply of medicines.
Talking about patent medicines, I also noticed under the Gerald S. Doyle heading that he sold Dr. Lyon’s Tooth Powder. Is there still such a thing as tooth powder, that white dust that came in a can? Back in 1955 this Lyon’s product promised not only to get your teeth cleaner than your present dentifrice (“so they sparkle with all their old time brilliance”) but it would help prevent tooth decay, or you’d get your money back, 55 cents for the regular can or 60 cents for the ammoniated version.
Most modern and up-to-date
Eighty-two years ago, The Newfoundland Hotel (the building that previously occupied the space upon which The Sheraton sits today) advertised itself as Newfoundland’s most modern and up-to-date. And surely it was. The advertisement I am examining did not give phone number or any information on reserving a room, but it did say that the hotel offered private suites, bedrooms with private baths, running hot and cold water, a telephone in all bedrooms and the hotel was “absolutely fireproof.” Additionally, it had tennis courts on the grounds (three hard courts), and the hotel could accommodate private dinners, dances and at-homes. Imagine having an “at-home” in a hotel! Along with “a sincere spirit of courtesy and helpfulness,” the hotel assured anyone who recommended it that “when you suggest to your friends that they stop at The Newfoundland Hotel you can be sure they will think well of your recommendation.”
Paul Sparkes is a longtime journalist intrigued by the history of Newfoundland and Labrador. Email: paul.sparkes@thetelegram.com.