‘Trevor saved my life’
Donna Hancock tells her story ahead of memorial walk for RCMP Cpl. Trevor O’keefe
Donna Hancock organized the “A Mile in His Shoes” walk to remember the late RCMP Cpl. Trevor O’keefe.
Hancock, 46, says she wants to tell her story to let people know exactly why she has come forth as a mental health advocate and how first responders like O’keefe, who died by suicide last September, shouldn’t have to suffer.
Hancock was raised in a single-parent home. To this day, she has never known who her father is.
The tears welled up in her eyes as soon as she began to tell the story of what she has gone through.
“I suffered sexual abuse as a child from a family member. There was never anybody to lift me up, to let me know that I was a person. I was always put down my whole life … told I’d be nothing.”
Hancock has been in and out of foster homes since before she can remember. At 14 years old, she was taken in by her mother’s sister for several years.
“When I met my first husband I thought, ‘Gee, I hit the jackpot!’
“But that turned out to be a nightmare in itself. I was mentally
and physically abused on an everyday basis.”
She says she was even confined to the house for days by her husband at the time, and was not allowed to leave.
“I still live with that every day. The bruises heal, but the scars in your mind never go away,” she says through tears.
Hancock said he engrained in her the thoughts that she was totally reliant on him and no one else.
During her time in this abusive relationship, her mother and sister both died within six months of each other. Her mother was 49 and her sister was 25.
Her ex-husband told her she wasn’t even allowed to cry.
“I was told, ‘What are you crying for? They’re dead and gone and there’s nothing you can do about it.’
“People used to say to me, ‘Donna you’re some strong.’… But, inside, I was dying.”
She lived in this environment for 17 years, raising her kids.
Hancock finally went to the RCMP for assistance.
Cpl. Trevor O’keefe, along with many other officers in the area, began checking on her and helping her.
“It was like I had a band of brothers behind me. That’s what it was like,” she recalls.
She always thought it was coincidence that O’keefe happened to be there when she needed him most.
“Looking back on it now, they were ‘accidently on purpose visits.’”
Hancock went through untold difficulties in her time with her ex-husband, and afterward. She worked two jobs while raising three children, and depended on services like the Salvation Army Food Bank.
All the while, O’keefe supported and encouraged Hancock.
“One thing Trevor taught me is, that no matter what I went through, it wasn’t my fault,” she says. “I had no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed.”
Hancock did what she had to do to survive and help her family, with O’keefe and the RCMP helping as well — telling her to set goals and work toward them.
“Trevor was more than gift cards for Christmas. … If I didn’t get out when I did, I wouldn’t be here today.”
She has O’keefe and the rest of the RCMP to thank, Hancock adds.
She says the main reason for telling her story is that people need to know what he did for people like her. She says that thanks to people like him, anyone suffering never has to be alone.
“I always say the Clarenville RCMP gave me my independence, but Trevor O’keefe saved my life.”
Now, in a happy and fulfilling marriage with her husband, Tony, Hancock says her husband is her lifeline and one of her biggest supporters.
“He, too, is so much like Trevor. My husband is my rock.”
She married Tony nine years ago. Six years ago, she graduated with her high school diploma from the Discovery Centre in Clarenville and then completed the office administrative program at the College of the North Atlantic.
“I went from being a scared, broken soul with no confidence, no self-esteem, to a high school graduate at age 40.”
Hancock is now a person who loves and is proud of herself, loves her job at Kent with amazing co-workers, and believes she deserves the best in life.
“I am truly blessed,” she says. Hancock says with the A Mile in His Shoes walk, she’s inspired to keep trying to make a difference. She says one person can do that, noting O’keefe was one person and he helped change her life so much for the better.
This year, there will be two A Mile in His Shoes walks — in St. John’s at Quidi Vidi Lake on Saturday, Sept. 15 and in Clarenville on Sunday, Sept. 16.