The Telegram (St. John's)

Cheers & Jeers

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Jeers: to weaponizin­g Nan’s cooking. A recent Stephenvil­le court case included an attack on police officers using an unusual weapon: a tea bun. As the judge spelled it out when sentencing Dylan Rubia, “The police located Mr. Rubia a short time later. When they approached him, Mr. Rubia ran. The police were able to apprehend Mr. Rubia and when they arrested him they noticed that his mouth was full of a tea bun he had been eating. As the police were attempting to subdue Mr. Rubia, he resisted and spat some of the tea bun at the officers.” Only in Newfoundla­nd. What’s next? A salt beef mugging?

Jeers: to sloppy spam. Making the rounds right now? Clearly fake emails from “The Income Agency of Canada” claiming “How do you do? Тhe lump sum of your taх рay debt is 975.43$

We notify you that wе hаvе nоt receivеd аny tаx pаy frоm you sincе 13.08.2018. Тhе rаte оf 30% реr сеnt is inсreаsed to 50% реr cent per mоnth.” (How much is 50 per cent per cent, anyway?) Yeah, don’t worry, we’ll get right on paying that, as soon as we can figure out where exactly you are. The spammers are so sloppy that the address for “Аnn Mayo, Assistant Direсtоr EAP Cоmmittее Chamрion, Тоrrоnto Nоrth Tax Sеrviсеs Officе” is on Yonge Street in “Toronto, Orlando.” You could spend a little time on this, guys.

Cheers: to more spam. And while we’re on the topic, would you respond to this? “Hi, good morning. Did you have a good rest? We are three-piece life jacket. Any requiremen­t please let us know quickly.” (Three-piece Life Jacket is a great band name, by the way.) Or how about this one? “Dear friend: Glad to know that you are dealing with SEX Doll. Shenzhen chaoying art culture factory, which is specialize­d in manufactur­ing and exporting stainless stell skeleton SEX DOLL for 5 years. Please kindly reply me, let’s talk more in details.” No, no — let’s not talk more in details. Ever.

Cheers: to too much of a good thing. New quick and easy drop-off services at Evergreen Recycling — and a hot summer — are causing a bit of a backup at depots, CBC News reports. “We’ve had a great summer, so people are drinking more. Pop and water and beer, so there’s just that much more material,” Evergreen CEO Mike Wadden told the CBC, adding that they hope to catch up on the backlog before too long. Just one small thing we’d like to point out? In many parts of the province, especially the Northeast Avalon, perfectly good water comes out of the tap. Getting away from bottled water is just one way that you can not only save money, but cut down on the amount of plastic that’s cycling through our waste system, and often finding its way into the environmen­t.

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