Boomer gifts for the intrepid
Just when I’m getting over my trepidation about ordering things online, we are told that online ordering adds significantly to the carbon footprint on the Earth. We don’t have to get in our cars and burn gas to get to the store; instead more and more jets and trucks are bringing our goods to us. That makes two footprints because the goods have to get to the giant warehouse in the first place. Ordering online makes another footprint.
Of course, local stores have to order their goods in from warehouses, but it just makes sense that sending pallets of things is more eco-friendly than shipping one thing at a time. So, one way to help the Earth and do our teeny part to mitigate climate change is to buy local; products that are produced here. Food, gifts, clothes, even booze can all be locally sourced, and I try, when I can, just like I buy books by Newfoundland authors for gifts.
But then there are some unique things that you might not find locally, especially if you’re looking for a gift for a person of a certain age who seems to have everything they need, and you don’t want to buy your father another sweater or add to your mother’s scarf collection.
You don’t have to. You can give the technically challenged aging boomer in your life something cool and useful that you can bet your sweet bippy they don’t already have and just might become be their new favourite thing.
Such as a Dodow. A Dodow “helps you fall asleep 2.5x faster and improves your sleep quality”. You could tell your gift recipient that it “combines the latest research in cognitive behavioral therapy, yoga, and mindfulness with cuttingedge technology to retrain your brain to sleep naturally.” Or you could just say “this is supposed to help you sleep better and even you can operate it.”
And then …
At the other end of the body, Mindinsole claims to relieve achy feet, improve blood circulation, relieve back pain and lower stress. You don’t need to explain that these shoe inserts make use of “400 acupoints scientifically designed to massage critical areas of your feet and use five cooling magnets to help balance your body’s energy levels.” On the other hand, maybe you might want to explain giving someone shoe insoles for Christmas.
What about the gift of Accupoint itself? This is a tiny, lightweight device that works wirelessly and is so simple even Grandma can use it. All she has to do is apply the gel to the electrodes and put the device where she is feeling pain: her arms, neck, legs, back, anywhere at all. If applying gel to electrodes makes Grandma leery, just explain that electrical impulses block the pain signal that she feels and helps her release endorphins that make will make her feel better. If she’s still skeptical tell her she can adjust the intensity of the electrodes.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t try it but this Grandma kind of likes the old-fashioned way of feeling no pain. Ha ha.
I feel these next two would definitely be detrimental to my health. One (I can’t remember the name) is a gadget that lets you get rid of that big jangly set of keys, purporting to make it easier to find the key you need. It makes no noise and is smaller than a pack of gum. This is not a good idea for grandma. If she keeps losing her big jangly set of keys, what chance would she have with a soundless set not as big a pack of Juicy Fruit?
Then there’s the motion activated Glowbowl that you put in your toilet bowl for night trips. The problem is that one ad claims it uses a soft ambient light to let you see without waking you up. That sounds good, but another ad for the same product promises you a dazzling light show in a choice of 13 colours of LED lights
I could probably get rid of Newman by installing one of those dazzling ones without telling him. “His heart just gave out doctor.”
Just kidding. Ha ha.