‘I have too much life to live to worry about dying’ COUNTING BLESSINGS
Connecting with others key to Nova Scotia woman’s Inspiring Hope cancer group
Donna Benedict is surviving cancer by counting her blessings and tying all the little knots she can.
Benedict was first diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 2015 and underwent radiation and chemotherapy. She was cleared of the disease until 2017, when check-ups found the cancer had returned, this time spreading to her lungs.
Now she faced another aggressive round of treatment involving two surgeries, one to each lung that removed 30 per cent of tissue, leaving the remaining organs struggling, but still viable.
This time, however, she developed an allergic reaction to the chemotherapy and decided to halt the treatment.
“I’m a factual person, I want all of my information and I don’t want it sugar-coated,” she said. “I’m no cookie-cutter patient. I asked for everything, all my records, all my test results. I’ve always been very involved in my treatment, I want to understand what is happening to my body.”
Among the side effects of the chemotherapy was nerve damage in her hands affecting her fine motor skills. Her lungs and immune system were also compromised, so little coughs can become big deals.
TAKING CHARGE
After researching various alternative treatments, she radically overhauled her diet and lifestyle. She began energy-healing treatments such as acupuncture and reiki. Aside from diet and lifestyle factors, she believes stress and negativity are among the biggest contributors to cancer.
“I needed to change my perspective and realign my energy,” she said. “I’m alive, I’m breathing. I’m still able to do the things I love and I have nothing to fear in this moment. None of us are promised tomorrow. Live for today and find something that you can be passionate about, something that makes you happy.”
It could be the healing moments spent near the sea, or walking in the woods. Time spent listening to children play, or birds sing. Benedict says we all need to stop and take in the simple joyful moments.
Hobbies have become very important to her, and part of her therapy includes making Mala beads, similar to rosaries. These beads help her to count her blessings and invest her energy in a tangible, creative way.
The ability to tie the tiny knots between each of the beads is not something she can take for granted, given the nerve damage in her fingers.
“It took me a long time to learn how to tie the knots,” she said. “It’s a labour of love.”
This insight has helped her find her way back to the light. Rather than count her days, she began to count her blessings. This gratitude keeps her focused on what she has to live for, and gives her the purpose and power to transform a dark prognosis into a positive way forward for herself and others.
“Every day when I wake up, I think to myself that I’m grateful to be here,” she said. “Then I think about how grateful I am to have my husband and my children. I live for my kids. I want my children to know that I’m here, I’m happy. I want them to see me happy and living my life to the fullest.”
She sets realistic goals, but she doesn’t stray too far into the future. In the beginning, she wanted to live long enough to see her oldest daughter, now 21, graduate. Now it’s her middle son, 17, who is set to graduate next year.
Next, she plans to see her 15-year-old son graduate and watch her daughter get married.
Some people will stand in a place of uncertainty and lose faith and start digging a hole. Faced with the same uncertainty, when she picks up her shovel and starts digging, she imagines she is building a foundation.
“I focus on what I want to build, not the hole. I look at where I want to go. I’m not saying goodbyes, or planning my funeral. At this stage, I feel like I have too much life to live to worry about dying."
Focussing on what she loves and staying connected to other people is the elixir that keeps her going, she adds. Her illness is becoming her strength. Before her diagnosis, she was shy and reserved, but now she believes that connecting with others on their cancer journey is one of her reasons to live.
“I realized that my purpose is to use this darkness to help somebody,” she said. “I decided that I needed to make something positive out of this. I began asking myself what can I do to help myself and somebody else?”
Her support group, Inspiring Hope Society, offers support to other cancer survivors through meetings and events held in Middle Musquodoboit. There is also a Facebook page that offers online support to people living with the disease.
“I’m fortunate to have family and friends with me, but not everyone does,” she said. “I have the means to travel to Halifax for support, but not everyone is able to do this. Everyone is welcome, you don’t need to be from Musquodoboit, no one will be turned away.”