Finale file can outline end-of-life plans
Kelly Corkery has seen firsthand the decisions that need to be made at the end of life.
Two years ago, she sat with her best friend, whose father was in the final stages of life. She was there when the medical examiner phoned, wanting to know about organ and tissue donation. Was he a donor? Could they take bone grafts? What about his eyes?
Corkery witnessed her friend’s pain as she answered the questions.
Her father didn’t have a will, a power of attorney, or a personal directive. He didn’t leave any instructions regarding his end-of-life wishes, she says.
“I thought, there has to be a better way, an easier way for a grieving family to handle these types of questions in the midst of their heartbreak,” says Corkery.
Soon after, Corkery’s own mother was diagnosed with cancer. Upon the terminal diagnosis, Corkery sat down with her mother and immediate family members to come up with a death plan. It included ensuring that her mother's will and power of attorney were up to date and that the decisionmakers were aware of their responsibilities. The plan also included reviewing her personal directive and discussing her medical wishes.
"Everything from body disposition to household finances to the hymns requested for Mom’s funeral service were openly discussed," she says. "While it didn’t make losing my mother any easier, the plan did provide guidance and peace of mind knowing that the decisions made were those of my mother’s. Her personal wishes were being met at a very difficult time for those left to mourn."
All of these experiences prompted Corkery, from her home in Upper Lakeville on the Eastern Shore of N.S., to begin her own business, A Sorted Affair, part of which focuses on helping clients and families complete advance planning for end of life.
"When a person dies without advanced planning in place, it can result in a messy nightmare for partners and family," explains Corkery.
"Often, the estate can end up in probate. Even if you have a
will in place, during probate it can be challenged."
To help families start their end-of-life advanced planning, Corkery recommends creating a finale file.
This is a file (electronic or physical), binder or even a shoebox where important estate documents and any other meaningful personal effects are stored.
"The file needs to be easily findable for your loved ones," she adds. "This file will save them time, money and (some) anguish in dealing with your death."
When someone you love dies, it can take years to shut down his or her life. This includes filing taxes on their behalf. Having the necessary information in one convenient location eases that burden, says Corkery.
WHAT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR FINALE FILE
Care of remains and other arrangements — Include instructions for final disposition — what you want done with
your body when you die.
Do you have a type of funeral service in mind? Or none at all? Discuss and document your wishes.
Practical Paperwork — Three important end-of-life documents to include are a signed personal directive, a notarized power of attorney and a will.
There is a slew of other paperwork that aids in settling your affairs. At last count, there were over 80 items to consider when someone dies that should be included in your finale file. Some of these items include:
• Marriage, divorce and birth certificate(s)
• Passwords for phone, computer, email and social media accounts — use a tool like an online password manager to collect them all and share the master password with someone you trust
• Account numbers and pending transactions of household bills
• Emergency contact information and next of kin
• List of who to notify when death occurs — lawyer, doctor, employer, insurance agent, executor,
etc.
• Insurance policies (life, health, car, property)
• Parents names and birthplaces — this information is needed for death certificates
• Instructions for your funeral and final disposition "That additional burden of making intimate and difficult decisions for a loved one when they die or are in the dying process is unnecessary," says Corkery.
There is little comfort after someone you love dies, whether it is expected or not. Having all the information of what your loved one wants removes the guesswork at a difficult time.
“If some simple, advanced planning helped me cope with the illness and death of my mother, then I know it can help others,” she says.
"Be courageous, talk about death before it’s too late."