Women share surrogacy story to inspire others
REGINA, Sask. — Marie Schultz finally had something to celebrate this Mother’s Day. Her first child is on the way, after years of struggling to conceive, thanks to a coworker who offered to be her surrogate.
Schultz had never considered surrogacy before, but when her officemate Amber Peters told her she would be willing to carry her child, Schultz couldn’t refuse the generous proposal.
“I was fully on board. I was ready to do it right then,” Schultz said. “I was like, I want to have a baby and I’m not ready to quit, and if you’re willing to help, yes, please.”
The two women, both Regina residents, met two years ago while working at SGI. Peters is currently 28 weeks pregnant with the Schultzes’ baby boy, due July 27.
Although the Schultzes haven’t picked out a name, they do have some notion of the road ahead. Motorcycle enthusiasts, Schultz and her husband Taylor plan to share their passion with their son as soon as he learns to peddle a bicycle.
Schultz and Peters have cultivated a close friendship through this process and they’re sharing their story in the hopes that others will draw inspiration from their experience.
“It’s such a personal decision and I think only the individual knows if the emotional experience is one they can handle … But if you think it is something you can do, I can say it’s one of the most rewarding experiences,” Peters explained.
The two women met when Peters accepted a short-term position at SGI to cover for someone on maternity leave. At the time of her arrival, Schultz was with her husband Taylor in Calgary pursuing fertility treatment. When she returned, Peters asked about her trip in an effort to get to know her better, and Schultz confided in her about her pregnancy issues.
“There was just something about her,” Schultz explained. “I just had this feeling about her where I felt I could just tell her where I was. I kind of pick and choose who I share this with because some people, sometimes they don’t always say the right thing or they ask too many questions.”
The next day, Peters gave Schultz a flower and an affirmative note in order to cheer her up and from there the friendship was born.
“She became the confidant that I could talk to,” Schultz said. “She always had the right thing to say. It was very comforting.”
A few months later, Peters approached Schultz and asked whether she had ever considered surrogacy. Schultz said she hadn’t, but that she wouldn’t be opposed to it.
“I sort of off-the-cuff said, ‘Well, I’ll carry a baby for you,’” Peters explained. The rest was history. Prior to meeting Peters, the Schultzes’ unsuccessfully tried to conceive for seven years. Initially, Schultz underwent two IVF treatments, but her body did not respond to them, so they decided to try an egg donor instead. On two separate occasions, they used donated eggs from Schultz’s cousin and a family friend. The implant procedure worked both times and Schultz became pregnant, but she miscarried.
The surrogacy arrangement the Schultzes entered with Peters was their fifth try. They used an egg from Schultz’s cousin, which was fertilized in a lab and implanted into Peters.
Peters said she had been toying with the idea of being a surrogate for years.
“I had really easy healthy pregnancies with my two boys,” she explained. “I was blessed with really easy labours, so I enjoyed the process of being pregnant and even giving birth.”
Peters said she won’t get the chance to be a surrogate again, as she’s approaching 40 and feels she doesn’t have the energy to repeat the process. Right now, she’s focusing on making the most of the experience and she’s excited for what’s to come.
“It’s not just the intended parents who are on this journey with me, it’s their families too. Seeing how excited the grandparents-to-be are for this highly anticipated arrival often brings me to tears,” she said.
Schultz wants other women to be inspired and comforted by her story.
“I want women to know they’re not alone … I know it’s super personal and super hard to talk about, but I don’t want people to feel ashamed,” she said.