Superman complex won’t work, says prostate cancer survivior
More men need to start taking care of their health and get tested, insists Darrell Yetman
After his father was diagnosed with prostate cancer — and would end up dying of it at 80 — it became important to Darrell Yetman to get tested regularly.
“With that history, I was being tested from the time I was 40,” said Yetman.
“The thing about prostate cancer is that by the time you start to feel symptoms, the disease is advanced, so the key is to get tested and detect the disease long before you feel anything at all.”
The testing would end up being lifesaving for the White Bay man. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer at age 52, in the summer of 2003.
“At that time, it was considered fairly young to be diagnosed,” he says.
“This will sound like a stereotypical reaction, but when you hear that word (cancer), there’s a shock, and you don’t hear anything else,” he says
Patricia Collins Yetman, his wife, was by his side when he got the news.
“It’s a good thing that Patty was there with me because she remembers it a lot better than I do,” he said. “(There’s) a cold chill when you hear that word and get that diagnosis and you realize what kind of things you have in front of you. It’s quite a shock.”
SUPPORT FROM LOVED ONES
They were just three months into their marriage that fateful day.
“We were newly married, so
I’m trying to figure out what’s the best way to support him, still keep it together for me, (and) be on top of everything the doctor was saying, so
I had to figure this all out very quickly,” said Collins Yetman.
“In some ways, we were prepared for the worst-case scenario, so it wasn’t a complete shock. And then my next thought was, ‘OK, we have our answers, where do we go from here?’”
For Yetman, the next step was surgery. He was fortunate enough not to have to go through chemotherapy or any of the other usual treatment and is doing well today.
“After he got home from the hospital, he looked so sick. All I could think was I wanted to get him through this,” said Collins Yetman.
“We had an easier cancer journey than others because he didn’t have to do any follow-up treatments.”
Not long after returning home from surgery, Yetman was contacted by a man who is part of a local support group.
“I had no idea what it was all about, but I said ‘sure’ and went along with it,” said Yetman.
Joining the support group would lead to lifelong friendships.
“We got to meet a lot of wonderful individuals who we still have a relationship with (and) we feel that we can contribute and help other people,” said Collins Yetman.
Yetman is now a member of the board of directors for Newfoundland & Labrador Prostate Cancer Support Groups.
“It makes me proud of Darrell that he has been spending many years in this prostate cancer support group and getting the word out and letting people know it’s not the end of the world … that it could turn
into something you never expected,” said Collins Yetman.
“I’m also proud of how he tries to keep on top of things because this happened in 2003.
Anybody who is having a hard time can call Darrell up and he is a good listener and can relate so people can get some comfort and some support from him.”
Collins Yetman said going through this challenge so early in their marriage also made them stronger.
“It shows, as a couple, what you are capable of,” she explains. “This happened so early in our marriage that we can handle anything now. If we can kick cancer in the butt, we can kick anything. we are a good team — I picked a good one.”
Having support from family is key, she adds, for anyone going through a battle like this.
“After he went through this, I had a health crisis myself. So, we … figured out how to be there for each other and (have) a strong partnership,” she said. ”We are probably more in love now than we have ever been.”
RAISING AWARENESS ABOUT MEN’S HEALTH
Yetman realizes how lucky he has been.
“It has been 18 years since I really worried about cancer,” he says.
“I realize with cancer in my family, there is always the chance that tomorrow something may happen, but my life has been great. I’ve gone on with my life. I’m doing wonderful. I’m enjoying life.”
Yetman does have one simple piece of advice to a younger person who might think he’s invincible: You’re not.
“Life is short. Things that we don’t expect or like happen, so prepare yourself,” said Yetman.
“Make sure you check your family history. If there is any chance at all you may develop prostate cancer, visit your doctor regularly and have the checkups.”
Yetman also wants men to get over what he calls their “superman complex” and take care of their health — a key theme around men’s health month, which is marked each June to raise awareness about men’s health issues.
“One of the biggest obstacles we have is that men don’t like to talk about their health, especially anything below the belt,” said Yetman. “It’s a challenge to get men to admit they may have a problem even when they are suffering.”
Talking to friends and family is important, he says, but so is “admitting to yourself you may not be superman and you may need help — that’s the key.”
He does understand that the checkup can be uncomfortable but stresses its importance.
“A lot of men are averse to going to the doctor and looking after their health and say, ‘I don’t want a doctor doing that to me because there is a digital rectal exam,’” said Yetman.
“But I say get over yourself and look after your health.”