FROM PIXEL TO PEDAL
A one-time computer crush has grown into a good-looking, albeit sterile, sports car
Our affair began with a video game.
Midtown Madness 2, to be exact. When we weren’t winning race after race, we cruised around crudely pixelated interpretations of San Francisco and London. We were inseparable — and then I began noticing her elsewhere. I kept seeing her in movies and magazines. At traffic lights and in parking lots. Even in other video games. She was everywhere and our fates were sealed. I fell for the first-generation Audi TT.
But that was then, and this is now. I haven’t used my computer for video games in years and the Audi TT is now in its third generation. This is probably the best one yet; gone are the soft, Volkswagen Beetle-inspired lines for a much sharper look, especially on the TTS. I quite like it; the flared fenders, gorgeous BBS LM-style wheels, razor-sharp front fascia and perky rear end enveloping four chrome exhaust tips come together in a very comely package.
The TTS is attractive. We’ve established as much, but there is one fundamental problem with the car. It comes across as a sports car, but the TTS is a sports car purely for vanity. I know, I know — nearly everyone who drops a decent chunk of change on a car like this obviously wants to look cool, no contest there. But for an as-tested price of just under $70,000, well, let’s just say there are many alternatives that more than satisfy in the vanity department and aren’t as sterile as the TTS on twisty bits of tarmac.
Don’t get me wrong. The 2.0-litre turbo-four sends 292 horsepower and 280 pound-feet of torque to all four wheels via a dual-clutch automatic transmission with six gears. Set Audi’s so-called Drive Select gizmo to Dynamic and the TTS hustles with almost unwavering acceleration, thanks to virtually no turbo lag, and shifts so quick they’d make Usain Bolt blush. When the road does its best impression of a snake, the TTS won’t leave you hanging; it takes a corner with no drama and it’s stickier than the mess after a Michael Scott-style forklift accident in the warehouse of a superglue factory.
These are all wonderful traits to have, but when you see the trees and not just the forest, the TTS doesn’t evoke much of an emotional connection as you’d expect from a sports car. Steering is effortless but numb. When you’re pussyfooting around town, the TTS feels a lot like a Volkswagen Golf R or an Audi S3. It’s not a bad thing per se, but those two share the TTS’s powertrain and platform bits, and don’t cost nearly $70,000.
Also not helping matters much are the 20-inch wheels. Despite the TTS’ otherwise quiet and composed ride, it does tend to punch you in the kidneys — though not as hard as other sports cars — over unruly road surfaces and speed bumps.
If you don’t need the added performance of the TTS but you want a quick Volkswagen product, save yourself $15,000 and spring for a loaded S3. Or, even better, go for the Golf R. All three are underpinned by VW’s MQB platform, but the S3 and Golf R are buttoned-up in more practi- cal bodies. Plus, you can have the Golf R with a six-speed manual, rather than the TTS’s shifter that can somehow only be configured to read P-R-N-D-S. If you really want a TTS but don’t care for the added performance, you’ll be just fine with a regular TT with the S-Line package and all the option boxes ticked.
None of this means the TTS doesn’t have its place in the sports car world. Think of it this way: it’s a sports car without most of the major sacrifices of one. This is most apparent inside. Up front, the TTS is obviously designed for a driver and a passenger, and lives up to Audi’s stringent quality standards. Comfortable seats? Check. Topnotch materials? Well, duh. It’s an Audi. Tech? Once you master the learning curve, Virtual Cockpit is fantastic, but the lack of a central screen might take some getting used to for a passenger. Oh, and the optional Bang & Olufsen sound system is absolutely unreal.
But because the TTS has qualities of a sports car, you can’t completely escape the practical sacrifices. Chiefly, the back seats are virtually useless for regularsized adults. You will smack your head against the glass of the rear hatch.
The TTS occupies a grey zone in the sports car world. True, it’s not the most engaging choice for just under $70,000, but it’s quite possibly the most livable; the cargo area is reasonably usable and the engine, powertrain and chassis are very well behaved.
And where similarly priced options — BMW M2, anyone? — have three-season usability for the most part, the TTS won’t cower at the prospect of setting out in the snow.
You know, maybe I underestimated the Audi TTS. Excuse me while I dust off my copy of Midtown Madness 2; we’ve got some catching up to do.